Poké-man Theory | Ponder This

It seems like everyone and their Growlithe has a theory as to why Ash doesn’t age. I’ve heard everything from “Ash is in a coma” to “Team Rocket is in purgatory” to “Ash’s age is equal to his level.” So with the release of Detective Pickachu, I’m going to wander through the tall grass and catch myself a theory.

Wild Theory Appears

The reason Ash doesn’t age is similar to the theory that in the Pokèmon universe age is the same a level. The theory states that Ash is not 10 years old–in the way we think of age; he is level 10. So going from this theory (plus the one saying that humans are Pokèmon), the reason why Ash doesn’t age is because he hasn’t leveled up enough to evolve. We’ve seen how Pokèmon will evolve from babies to children to adults–with some having a middle/teenage evolution.

For example, Charmander could be the childhood version of Charizard with Charmeleon as the teenage version. (I guess some Pokèmon are lucky enough to not have to go through those awkward teenage years.)

So Ash looks ten because he’s in his childhood evolution. He could really be 18 in our years but only look ten. Pikachu has been with him for years and he (or is Pikachu a she) hasn’t “aged” either.

This theory makes sense because…let’s face it, Ash isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Maybe one day he’ll level up enough to evolve. I could just see that moment.

ASH has reached level 13. What’s this?! ASH is EVOLVING? *Pokèmon evolution music plays*

ASH has EVOLVED into TEENAGE ASH!

ASH has learned ANGST!

Wouldn’t that be cool if humans were like Pokèmon? If someone bullies us at school we could just go into a Pokèmon battle.

Enemy GARY uses PEER PRESSURE! It’s SUPER EFFECTIVE!

ASH uses YO MAMA JOKE!

Enemy GARY has fainted.

I could just see the equivalent of the evolution stones (like the moon stone or grass stone).

MOM uses COLLEGE DEGREE on ASH! ASH EVOVES into MIDDLE-AGE ASH!

Now, you’re probably thinking, “But then we’d all go around saying only our names,” but we’ve seen that Pokèmon understand each other. So…maybe we aren’t really speaking English or Spanish. Maybe to an outside species, like a dog or cat, we are just standing around saying our names in various ways. Maybe if aliens visited we’d just be standing around going, “Bob. Bob. Bobby. Rob.” “Sam. Sam-mantha. Sam Andrews.” (or just “Human. Hu. Human.”) To us dogs just go “bark” with different variations.

Kind of blows your mind, doesn’t it.

Hmm…maybe all we need to do to use THUNDERBOLT is to shout out our name. “P-eee-ttt-er Wil-BROOK!!!” Then again, who knows what Pikachu is shouting when he says, “Pi-ka-CHUUU!!” It could be “Thunderbolt!” or “I like chili dogs!”

What four Pokèmon powers/moves would you like? (Because they can remember four moves.)

Now I’m off to ponder why Ash talks about Pikachu being his best friend yet he hasn’t given him a nickname. Hmm, maybe Pikachu doesn’t want one. What would Pikachu’s name be? Ryan? Deadpool? (I smell a Detective Pickachu meme brewing.)


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Avengers: Endgame | Rant

Today’s rant is brought to you by Avengers: Endgame (not really though–it’s just a gag)

At first, I found it ironically funny when I heard about people lining up for the latest Marvel movie days in advance or when I saw someone wearing an Avengers t-shirt.

When I was younger, I read comics, wore superhero t-shirts, and had other Marvel/DC merch. And everyone, and I mean everyone, would pick on me. I was called a geek or freak. I was told I was lower than pond scum. I was called a monster, an alien, and a few not so nice things.

Teachers and everyone would say I couldn’t read because I read comic books, sci-fi, and fantasy. Even though I would be sitting there reading War of the Worlds or Lord of the Rings, everyone would be like, “Pfft, he can’t read. He stupid.” Even though I got straight A’s and was in the top ten percentile in mathematics for the nation.

If I said my favorite show was Batman The Animated Series, I’d get all sorts of name-calling. For years, I thought I was the only person on the planet who liked the show.

So when people started talking about how awesome Marvel movies where or that Batman The Animated Series was a great show, I was like “Whaaaaat?” Then I found out about a thing called Comic-Con. I thought, “There are other weirdos like me out there?” It felt like I’d just discovered extraterrestrial intelligent life. I was close to running down the streets shouting, “I’m not an alien! I’m not an alien!”

At first, I figured everyone was liking Marvel movies because that was the latest “thing.” Just like how everyone suddenly liked wizards after Harry Potter or vampires after Twilight. But I slowly began to realize that they were “True Believers.” They were geeks!

But…why had I been so ostracized for liking fantasy back when I was younger? For years, I seriously thought that books like The Time Machine and Around the World in 80 Days were considered garbage by society–because that’s what people (including teachers) told me. I never suspected them to be classics. If so many people liked fantasy and sci-fi, how had I been a freak?

Finally, I figured it out. It wasn’t the genres; it’d been me. The bullies didn’t think I was stupid. They knew I was smart–smarter than them in most cases. I also didn’t go around bragging about being smart. Finally, it was because I did wear the novelty t-shirts–publicly. I let my geek flag fly. I wore what I liked, not what was cool or “in.” They were closet geeks while I was proud of my pocket protector (symbolically of course, I never wore a pocket protector).

That’s probably why Harry Potter, the MCU, Fortnite (and other video games) and so on are so popular–people can publicly “nerd out.” It took me years to figure out why everyone loved Harry Potter and what was so special about it; it was the “first” time it was socially acceptable to be a freak. Forget your Inner Child, people could let out their Inner Nerd!

So thank you Marvel Cinematic Universe for bringing us all together and showing us that we are all indeed…nerds.

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Sparks of Rebellion has been released!

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Bendy and the Dark Theory

After watching Treesicle talk about their theories regarding the new Bendy game–Bendy and the Dark Revival–(see Bendy and the Dark Revival: New Game BREAK DOWN (BATDR/BATIM) for more), I thought I would throw my hat into the theory ring.

OFF SCREEN: [Cars crashing] [People screaming]

MAN (OS): MY LEG!

OS: [Cat screeching]

BRAIN: They did not mean to literally throw your hat into a ring. Next time, try aiming.

Ooh.

In the video the Treesicle team, mostly Grant–since he was on camera, talked about if the new game would be a prequel or a sequel. They mentioned how the word “revival” makes it sound like a sequel but the trailer shows the ink machine being lowered into the studio…so it could be a prequel.

The video continues on until a blurry picture of a new character is seen. Grant, after some investigation, says that it looks like the character is wielding a banjo. He also states that the character looks dog-like. Finally, he says how the character Boris is a cartoon dog-person. During one scene from the Bendy and the Ink Machine game, a banjo is seen with Boris. Grant states that maybe the new character could have some connection to Boris, like being a love interest. Or, it could be an imperfect Boris clone.

My theory is that it is Boris, but not an imperfect Boris. I’m thinking it could be the original Boris. If you know anything about animation and character development, you know that a character goes through many revisions before the final publication. Even after the character is published, the animators will tweak it. Look at Micky Mouse; he has a ton of different variations. He’s been altered many times over the years to fit in with new technologies or styles.

So, the plot could be someone is “reviving” the old original versions of the characters. Also, in storytelling, the original characters are usually seen to be more powerful or deadly than the “published” versions. Oooh! Henry and Bendy could team up to defeat OG Bendy! (Probably not going to happen but it’d be cool.)

My other theory involves the ink machine being lowered into the studio and the word “revival.” Maybe someone is doing a remake/reboot. Someone has bought the rights to Bendy and is bringing the cartoon crew back. The “new” character might be an updated/remake version of Boris.

This plot could also fit into the themes from the last game (ie doing whatever it takes to be successful, even if it endangers your friends and employees). The new game could relate to people doing remakes of old shows. AH! The evil Bendy creatures are the rabid fans who say that the remake isn’t as good as the original! Hee, hee.

According to a The Game Theorists’ Bendy video, one of the creators stated that Dark Revival is not a prequel or a sequel, so…it could be a remake (or reboot). I wouldn’t put it passed the creators to have a “remake” game of a game they made. Whew, that’s a whole new level of confusion.

But who knows. At least it makes for good discussion fodder.

PS: I love how the abbreviation for Bendy and the Dark Revival is BATDR. It looks like it is Bat-Dr. It sounds more like someone Batman would go see when he’s ill than a title for an indie horror game.


Sparks of Rebellion has been released!

Joe Rover eBooks are available at many online retailers, such as Barnes and Noble, Apple Books, Walmart eBooks, and more.

Gotta Prank Fast

After watching the IGN video “The Sonic the Hedgehog Movie Sounds Like Fanfiction – IGN Now,” it got me thinking about all the hate the Sonic movie has been getting. After a couple chili dogs, I came up with the theory that the movie developers are pranking us.

They are purposely releasing bad images and bad previews in order to punk everyone. It makes sense. Sonic is a wise-cracking hedgehog; it would make sense to have “him” prank us. Also, look at all the publicity the movie has gotten. People are chatting all over the place about the movie. It’s on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, blogs, and so on. Pretty much everyone knows about the movie; and if they reveal that all this time it was a joke and the real movie is actually good, people will be talking about it even more.

The movie crew isn’t stupid (I hope). I’m sure they know about all the negative comments and reviews. Why aren’t they just scraping the project or even saying, “Maybe we should rethink this”?

Look at the stuff they have revealed. To me, it seems like they are revealing things but only to a point. It is like they are holding back, but not in a “we don’t want to spoil the movie” sort of way.

In the IGN video they go over the scenes revealed at a recent panel. The scenes sound fragmented and not thought out, almost as if they were half done–much like someone would half do a video or post in order to prank someone. They don’t want to spend a lot of time or money on something that won’t even be in the movie.

IGN goes on to state how during the Sonic preview, Jim Carrey, as Dr. Robotnik, comes on stage to show a preview of the Robotnik movie…as a prank.

I am really hoping that when the film crew finally releases a trailer it shows a few seconds of a bad trailer than cuts to black only to have a really well done CGI Sonic appear and laugh at the camera and say, “I got ya! Tails, roll the real trailer.” And then we get a really awesome trailer. *crosses fingers*


Sparks of Rebellion is available for preorder. It releases April 19, 2019.

Joe Rover eBooks are available at many online retailers, such as Barnes and Noble, Apple Books, Walmart eBooks, and more.

Just a Random Thought

Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern in the new Spider-Man movies: the titles. Spider-Man Homecoming. Spider-Man Far From Home. What’s the third Spidey movie going to be? Spider-Man Homeslice?

I could just see that one. Peter goes up to Tony and says, “Yo OS is so outdated even Captain America can use it.”

Anyway, sometimes I think about how different books or movies would be if they came out at a different time.

One of my favorites to ponder about is the Encyclopedia Brown series. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s about a boy who reads a lot and is very smart so he becomes a detective. To his friends he is like a walking encyclopedia.

So, I begin to wonder what the series would be like if it’d been created now. Would he be called Wikipedia Brown? Or would it be Google Brown? Would his friends be like, “No thanks, EB, we don’t need your help. OK Google, how can I prove Bugs Meany stole my bike?”

I then start thinking about some classic books, like The Time Machine.

When asked where the Time Traveler got his machine, instead of saying, “I built it,” would he say, “I got it on Amazon”?

And what about Around the World in 80 Days?

When Phileas Fogg says he’ll make it around the world in 80 days do the club members say, “We can do that in 80 hours with our private jets.” Or would it be, “Travel around the world? Ha, email can do that.”

How do you picture some older books or movies if they were created now?


My latest ebook Freaky Furry is out–for FREE.

Sparks of Rebellion is available for preorder. It releases April 19, 2019.

They are available at many online retailers.

News Update

I’m going to start having new content published every Friday at 10 am PT/5 pm GMT on one of the following places:

Blog

YouTube

A Side Quest eBook–Available at many online retailers, such as Barnes & Noble, Apple Books, and Kobo

Online game site

Instagram

It’ll only be one post on one site (for example, only a YouTube video). Follow me on Twitter or Facebook for post updates and links.

There will be some random publications at various times, which will also be posted on Twitter and Facebook, but the “official” publication will be on Fridays. When a longer eBook (i.e. The Wizard of New Town, The Life of Ace Journeyman, or Dogboy Reborn) is released it’ll be on a Tuesday.

Upcoming Publications (subject to change)

April 5: Just a Random Thought | Blog

April 12: Character & World Development | Blog

April 19: Sparks of Rebellion releases–available for preorder | Side Quest eBook

April 26: Alliance sample reading | YouTube

May 3: A Five Night’s at Fridays post | YouTube

May 10: Mystery writing tips | Blog