George always suspected that the other shoemakers didn’t like him; that’s why he was surprised when they hired shoemaking elves to help him in the upcoming contest. However, after seeing the D-List elves they paid for—they didn’t know the difference between a sole and a tongue—George was sure the others didn’t like him.
Little Red Designer Hoodie | Writing Warm-Up
Just for fun.
If you want to do your own warm-up, try making a fairy tale or other legend more modern.
Once upon a time, there lived a little girl who always wore a red designer hoodie. One day, her mother asked her to take a basket full of gift cards to her grandmother’s house. The gift cards were so the grandmother could feed her Candy Crush addiction through micro-transactions.
Happy to help, the little girl took the basket of digital goodies and journeyed deep into the forest. It was not long before a strange wolf-man dressed in black and wearing dark sunglasses popped up before her.
He wanted to know where she was going and what she had in the basket. Even though her mother warned her about the big, bad scammer who lived in the forest, the little girl in the red hoodie still gave him her information.
“I’m taking this basket of gift cards to my grandmother who lives just outside these woods on Eastbrooke Road,” she said.
“I can come with you, My Dear,” said the sly wolf. “These woods are much too dangerous for a young girl such as you.”
Being a strong, independent young woman, she replied, “No thanks. I’ve got this.” She than left the scheming, scamming wolf and continued her trek with a joyful song in her heart.
But the wolf would not be deterred so easily. He knew of a shortcut to the old woman’s house. He soon arrived at the modest cottage. Once he arrived, he did the most horrible thing imaginable: he cut off her Wi-Fi. When she went to her closet to reset the router, he locked the door behind her. He then proceeded to steal her identity by dressing in her nightgown and hopping into her bed.
The cunning wolf welcomed Little Red Designer Hoodie when she arrived.
“My, Grandma, what slender fingers you have,” said the innocent girl.
“All the better to text message you with, My Dear.”
“My, what fancy sunglasses you have.”
“All the better to block out screen glare, My Dear.”
“My, what large and pointy ears you have, Grandma.”
“All the better to hear my YouTube notifications with, My Dear.”
Finally, the sweet girl seemed to realize something was amiss. She gulped before saying, “My…what big…teeth you have.”
“All the better to devour you and steal your identity with!”
The wolf then leapt out of the bed preparing to attack the helpless child. Suddenly, a white hat hacker broke through the front door. With a mighty click of his wireless headset, the heroic hacker derezzed the villainous wolf.
With the online predator defeated and the grandmother’s Internet access restored, they all lived happily…until the EMP attack of 2023 that shutdown all electronics.
Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.
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