The Classic Bout | Dogboy Chronicles Short Tail

Nothing like breaking up an illegal animal fight to get your blood pumping.

Unfortunately, my blood wasn’t the only thing being pumped. The hosts of the title bout pumped the innocent turtle and rabbit full of phantasmic energy and transformed them into a middle-aged genetically modified hippie turtle and an electro-dance DJ named DJ Beat Hopper. 

The turtle did not want to fight, preferring to make love and not war. The rabbit could not let a challenge go unanswered. Soon, a rap battle commenced. 

DJ Beat Hopper laid down some sick rhymes (do people still say that). The turtle remained neutral…at least until Beat Hopper insulted its mother. Then, it was on.


And now these messages.

The latest Dogboy Chronicles book The Lost Files: Episode 1 will be available April 27. Check your favorite eBook retailer and order it today!

And now back to the story.


Both took turns performing lines. The rabbit went full force with fast-paced beats and lyrics that made the audience rock out. The turtle played slower and smoother music that relaxed the audience and made them think about calling their mothers. 

“Slow and mellow wins the rap battle,” hummed the turtle.

But, it looked like the rabbit’s pulse-pounding, head-banging licks were going to put the turtle in his place.

Unfortunately, for those who want to know who won, this is when the International League of Super-Transbeings, with support from PAWS, raided the fight.

The audience and hosts scattered. We got most of them, but I’m sure some escaped.

As for the now humanoid rabbit and turtle, they wrote a book about their life in the ring. They also collabed on a song that made it to the number one spot for three weeks straight.

Copyright Joe Rover 2021. All rights reserved.


So, who do you think should have won? The turtle or the rabbit? Let me know in the comments section.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!

Rage-Appropriate Activities | A Short Tail

B&N/Nook readers

Use the coupon BNPSAINTPAT50 to save 50% at checkout from 03/15/2021 to 03/19/2021 on Dragon Reign


“Hello, I am Dr. Tony Slick. We all get depressed, frustrated, and lonely. The world is constantly trying to bring us down. Anger is a natural emotion. That is why I created Rage Against the Machine.

“Rage Against the Machine is a simulated landscape where you can do as you please. You can destroy anything with no lasting consequences. You can smash beds, wreck cars, or blow up mailboxes.

“The simulation also comes with robots equipped with holographic rendering. These robot doubles can look like anyone allowing you to fulfill your wildest dreams of mayhem against your boss, ex, or in-law.”

A large, spiked baseball bat appeared in Dr. Slick’s hand via a series of digital hexagons. “Remember, I’m not just the president…I’m also a client.”

He went on a rampage destroying everything in sight with his baseball bat.

As he slugged a mailbox, an announcer spoke. “Rage Against the Machine is not responsible for any action taken outside the simulation.”

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!

Copyright Joe Rover 2021. All rights reserved.

Authors Give Back Sale

Two of my books (The Beast of Camp TimberWolf and Gift of the Minion) will be on sale for 60% off during the Smashwords Authors Give Back sale. It runs from Mar. 20 to Apr. 20. The discount is only on Smashwords.

Stay safe and healthy during this time (and other times).

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.


Who Pranked JR releases March 24!

100 Blog Followers Special!

I noticed a few days ago that I reached 100 followers for my blog. To celebrate, I made an illustration of Joe/Dogboy’s online avatar, Warrior Fang, and his dog’s online avatar (it’s the future; intelligent animals can get online too), Silent Paw, battling a swarm of coding bugs.

Enjoy, and as always…thanks for reading.

Inspiration #3

The following is a collection of story ideas I either don’t have time for or have lost interest in. Feel free to use them for your own stories, but please mention something akin to “based on an idea by Joe Rover, joerover.com.” Feel free to mix and modify the ideas.

More and more police officers are being ambushed during what should be standard investigations. Traffic stops, domestic disturbances, noise complaints are no longer relatively safe. Detective Peters wants to know why. Is it just bad luck or is someone trying to remove the police before something much bigger happens?

A reporter covering a story about the decline in bee numbers finds themselves abducted. But he/she is not abducted by people but by bees. For some reason bees are abducting people and forcing them to gather honey. Why would the bees need help collecting honey? Rival insects? Disease? Mankind tampering with nature?

A popular eSports player wins the title of National Champ but is soon accused of cheating. He/she must prove their innocence in Video Game Court. His/her lawyer must gather evidence by solving real-life puzzle games, complete interviews by choosing the right questions from a list of available options, and chase down informants through platforming obstacle courses. Can the lawyer reach the goal or is it game over?

It’s summer vacation and Terry (or Terri) is out cliff diving with friends. It’s his/her turn. They dive perfectly but upon hitting the water, they come across a strange world where whatever they dream/imagine comes true. What does Terry/Terri create? Do they leave or stay? What is this world they’ve found? Is it real or are they actually in a coma or dream?

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.


The Beast of Camp TimberWolf is now available for preorder. It releases Oct. 22, 2019. If you’re a fan of action, adventure, an science fiction-fantasy, buy the latest Dogboy Chronicles story now.

Salesman | Dogboy Reborn Side Quests

The villainous Glue laughed wildly within his hidden lair. “Ah-hahahah!! That fool Dogboy has taken the bait!” Glue twisted and squeezed his hands in excitement. “Soon he’ll be in my clutches. Now, what deathtrap should I use?”

Glue gazed over his wide collection of deadly machines. There was the giant mousetrap. There was the classic tank of sharks. “Maybe the Spinning Blades of Doom!” said Glue.

Bzzzzt!…Bzzztt!

“Oh, now what?” huffed the villain.

Glue stormed through his lair as the doorbell continued to buzz. Glue grumbled, “I’m coming. I’m coming.” He passed by gold statues of himself and walked under the 15 foot portraits of himself. He kidnapped the famous artist, Art with Sam, in order to commission them.

Glue flung the door open. “WHAT?!”

“Good evening, malicious sir,” said the man wearing a tweed overcoat and brimmed hat, which he tipped in greeting. “My name is Salesman. I am a lair-to-lair salesperson for the Omega Institute. Would you be interested in–”

“NO!”

SLAM!!

Glue followed his door slam with a door lock. He grumbled some more then turned. “GAH!” he yelped with a jump that made it look like he’d just seen a spider in his shower.

Salesman tipped his hat again.

“How’d you get in?” asked Glue.

The man held up a small black circle. “With the handy-dandy Portable Hole. You just stick this little beaut on any surface and voilà instant hole.” The man sat down his sale’s bag. With a click of the lock, he opened it and began riffling through it. “I’ve got boxing gloves on springs, acid spraying squirt flowers, gasses of all varieties; and of course, the ever popular freeze ray,” the man said, pulling the items out one by one.

Glue folded his arms. “Not interested.”

Salesman would not be deterred–his commission rested on getting a sale. “For the more modernist villain: I have swords that can slice an atom. I have bombs with misleading timers. I’ve got drones, spy cameras, and backdoor codes to various government databases.”

Glue let out an annoyed and warning sigh. Salesman either ignored him or didn’t hear him. Instead, he put a hand on Glue’s shoulder. “But, I can tell you are a…” He surveyed Glue’s black and orange containment suit. He could hear the sloshing of glue within. Without the suit, Glue would be a large glob of dried glue. “…uh, man of tradition. I’ve got cartoon bombs and sticks of dynamite…two for one.”

Glue groaned.

“How about some exploding pies?”

“What flavor?”

“Coconut creme.”

“Ew-yuck! I hate coconut creme. How about an ejector trap made to look like floor tiles?”

Salesman lifted his hat enough to scratch his head. He glanced down at his sale’s bag. “Gee, I don’t think so.”

Glue grunted a quick, dry laugh. “I do.” He tapped a button on his wrist computer panel.

SPOING!!

The spring loaded ejection title under Salesman launched him into the air and out through the hole in the roof–Glue had opened the roof; he didn’t want to clean up the mess.

“You’ll regret thiiiiiisss…” said the trailing voice of Salesman.

Glue closed the roof hatch then clasped his hands together. “Now…where was I?”


If you’d like more adventures starring Dogboy, check out the Joe Rover eBooks–available at many online retailers.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!


Copyright © 2019 Joe Rover

Dogboy and related characters Copyright © 2016-Present by Joe Rover

All rights reserved. No part of this post may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without prior written permission of the author/publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews or as a repost/share with link to the original post.

All characters, organizations, and locations in this post have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation to anyone bearing the same name or names. Any resemblance to individuals known or unknown to the author are purely coincidental.

All rights reserved.

Let’s Read #2

Superman: Dawnbreaker by Matt de la Peña–Chapters 5-7. I’ll try to keep spoilers to a minimum.

Not much to say about these chapters that wouldn’t be a lot of spoilers, but I did enjoy the Smallville TV show reference where a certain billionaire almost runs Clark over with his car.

I do enjoy how hints of the plot are sprinkled throughout. You don’t feel like you’re being hit over the head. You get little clues like how Lana, the girl who knows just about everything that happens in Smallville, doesn’t know about the missing persons. That tells you that whoever is behind it has some power/money.

Also when Clark meets up with Gloria, the one who told him about the missing people, she acts as if she doesn’t remember telling him. There isn’t a moment where he straight up asks her and she says, “What are you talking about?” but she does seem confused or she wants to change the subject. Did someone get to her? Threaten her? Pay her off? Does the villain have some kind of mind-erasing power or serum?

About the only problem I have with the book, at this point, is that it is kind of slow moving. It seems like it is taking a long time for Clark to get moving. He seems concerned about the missing persons but also doesn’t seem to be doing anything about it. At times it is almost like he goes, “Oh yeah! That’s right! There are people disappearing. I should look into that.”

I think it is great that the main villain might not be a Luthor. I just hope that Bryan doesn’t pull a Lex and turn out to be the bad guy. They’ve always done it where Lex and Clark were friends and then Lex turns evil; I hope they don’t do the same with Bryan, so far he seems like a good friend to Clark.

So, what do you think? Who’s behind the missing persons? What do you think is happening to the missing people? Why is Bryan’s brother so interested in the Kent Farm? Tell me your theories in the comments.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.


Consider following and turning on notifications so you know when the next update is available. 

File X-001 | Dogboy Reborn Side Quests

Incoming Message

Kkktt!!

This is Captain Stone of the International League of Super-Transbeings. The date is May 16, 2003. We have just received the following message.

Series of text messages sent from Unknown on July 10, 2019

Unknown: It’s all a lie.

Unknown: Ten years ago extraterrestrial life invaded Earth. That part is true.

Unknown: It is also true that the battle was over in three days.

Unknown: But it wasn’t the aliens that were victorious. Earth won that day.

Unknown: The governments saw this as an opportunity. War, famine, crime, violence, hate, climate change, and terrorism were all on the rise.

Unknown: They saw a chance to change all that. The drones, the ships–those are controlled by the Earth Unity Federation pilots. The few aliens we see on patrol are really Earth Unity Federation military units.

Unknown: The EUF scavenged the technology left by the aliens. They pretended to be the aliens. They created the peace treaty in order to set up new restrictions and have the aliens as the scapegoats.

Unknown: The aliens haven’t been on the Earth since July 6, 2009. It’s all been a ruse to keep us in check.

Addendum: It is now July 10, 2009. The alien invaders did arrive as predicted by the message. We, however, were able to intercept them before reaching Earth.

The Citizens remain unaware of any supernatural presence.

Kkkktt!!


Thanks for reading! Joe Rover eBooks are available at many online retailers.

Copyright © 2019 Joe Rover

International League of Super-Transbeings, Dogboy, and related characters Copyright © 2016-Present by Joe Rover

All rights reserved. No part of this post may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without prior written permission of the author/publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews or as a repost/share with link to the original post.

All characters, organizations, and locations in this post have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation to anyone bearing the same name or names. Any resemblance to individuals known or unknown to the author are purely coincidental.

All rights reserved.

Stakeout at the Docks | Ace Journeyman Side Quest

DING.

You’ve got a message from Glen.

Glen: What’cha doin’?

Ace: Stakeout with Watermark and Windmaker.

Glen: What kind of stakeout?

Ace: Someone’s illegally smuggling domesticated kaiju. They plan to use them in kaiju fights.

John Watermark: What part of “secret mission” did you not understand?

Ace: It’s just Glen.

John Watermark: I don’t care.

Ace: How’d you get into this conversation anyway?

John Watermark: That’s exactly my point. You never know who’s listening.

John Watermark: Or in this case texting.

John Watermark: How do we know that’s really Glen?

Ace: It says so right above the message bubble. Sent by Glen, March 19, 2012.

John Watermark: < : (

Ace: Wow, I didn’t know you knew how to do that!

John Watermark: I’m not *that* old.

Ace: How old are you?

John Watermark: Classified.

Glen: You should’ve let me come. I can help.

John Watermark: Sidekicks aren’t allowed on missions.

Glen: Sidekick??!!

Ace: Glen’s not my sidekick. He’s my friend!

Glen: Thanks!

John Watermark: By all means, that makes it better. Now I really should have brought him.

David Windmaker: Is this a private conversation or can anyone join?

David Windmaker: We have movement. I see three razorbacks, a bladebeak, five deathfoots, six screechers, and

David Windmaker: Is that a mousecat? What’s a cute kaiju like that doing here?

John Watermark: Probably breakfast.

Ace: WHAT??!

John Watermark: The “cute” kaijus end up as meals for the customers.

Glen: I think I’m going to be sick. You gotta do something!

John Watermark: What do you think we’re doing here!?

John Watermark: Now get off the line so we can get to work.

Glen: Who says “get off the line” anymore?

Ace: Old people…like John.

John Watermark: *sighs*


Hope you enjoyed this short tale. Consider leaving a like and sharing it with your friends.

Until July 31, 2019, many of my eBooks–like the Ace Journeyman book Alliance–will be on sale, only on Smashwords.

Thanks for reading! And until the next wormhole…bye!


Copyright © 2019 Joe Rover

Ace Journeyman and related characters Copyright © 2016-Present by Joe Rover

All rights reserved. No part of this post may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without prior written permission of the author/publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews or as a repost/share with link to the original post.

All characters, organizations, and locations in this post have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation to anyone bearing the same name or names. Any resemblance to individuals known or unknown to the author are purely coincidental.

All rights reserved.