Salesman | Dogboy Reborn Side Quests

The villainous Glue laughed wildly within his hidden lair. “Ah-hahahah!! That fool Dogboy has taken the bait!” Glue twisted and squeezed his hands in excitement. “Soon he’ll be in my clutches. Now, what deathtrap should I use?”

Glue gazed over his wide collection of deadly machines. There was the giant mousetrap. There was the classic tank of sharks. “Maybe the Spinning Blades of Doom!” said Glue.

Bzzzzt!…Bzzztt!

“Oh, now what?” huffed the villain.

Glue stormed through his lair as the doorbell continued to buzz. Glue grumbled, “I’m coming. I’m coming.” He passed by gold statues of himself and walked under the 15 foot portraits of himself. He kidnapped the famous artist, Art with Sam, in order to commission them.

Glue flung the door open. “WHAT?!”

“Good evening, malicious sir,” said the man wearing a tweed overcoat and brimmed hat, which he tipped in greeting. “My name is Salesman. I am a lair-to-lair salesperson for the Omega Institute. Would you be interested in–”

“NO!”

SLAM!!

Glue followed his door slam with a door lock. He grumbled some more then turned. “GAH!” he yelped with a jump that made it look like he’d just seen a spider in his shower.

Salesman tipped his hat again.

“How’d you get in?” asked Glue.

The man held up a small black circle. “With the handy-dandy Portable Hole. You just stick this little beaut on any surface and voilà instant hole.” The man sat down his sale’s bag. With a click of the lock, he opened it and began riffling through it. “I’ve got boxing gloves on springs, acid spraying squirt flowers, gasses of all varieties; and of course, the ever popular freeze ray,” the man said, pulling the items out one by one.

Glue folded his arms. “Not interested.”

Salesman would not be deterred–his commission rested on getting a sale. “For the more modernist villain: I have swords that can slice an atom. I have bombs with misleading timers. I’ve got drones, spy cameras, and backdoor codes to various government databases.”

Glue let out an annoyed and warning sigh. Salesman either ignored him or didn’t hear him. Instead, he put a hand on Glue’s shoulder. “But, I can tell you are a…” He surveyed Glue’s black and orange containment suit. He could hear the sloshing of glue within. Without the suit, Glue would be a large glob of dried glue. “…uh, man of tradition. I’ve got cartoon bombs and sticks of dynamite…two for one.”

Glue groaned.

“How about some exploding pies?”

“What flavor?”

“Coconut creme.”

“Ew-yuck! I hate coconut creme. How about an ejector trap made to look like floor tiles?”

Salesman lifted his hat enough to scratch his head. He glanced down at his sale’s bag. “Gee, I don’t think so.”

Glue grunted a quick, dry laugh. “I do.” He tapped a button on his wrist computer panel.

SPOING!!

The spring loaded ejection title under Salesman launched him into the air and out through the hole in the roof–Glue had opened the roof; he didn’t want to clean up the mess.

“You’ll regret thiiiiiisss…” said the trailing voice of Salesman.

Glue closed the roof hatch then clasped his hands together. “Now…where was I?”


If you’d like more adventures starring Dogboy, check out the Joe Rover eBooks–available at many online retailers.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!


Copyright © 2019 Joe Rover

Dogboy and related characters Copyright © 2016-Present by Joe Rover

All rights reserved. No part of this post may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without prior written permission of the author/publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews or as a repost/share with link to the original post.

All characters, organizations, and locations in this post have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation to anyone bearing the same name or names. Any resemblance to individuals known or unknown to the author are purely coincidental.

All rights reserved.

Fort 51 | Wizard of New Town Side Quest

This Area 51 raid trend offers so many ideas.

Max stared deeply into the clothing store window display. He debated on if he should use the magic dust on a new outfit or not. His current clothes, his soccer jersey from the present, was starting to…well, smell. He’d worn it ever since he’d been transported from the modern age to this magical Dark Ages. 

Maybe I’ll fit in more, he thought.  The I’m-a-wizard-so-I-can-dress-funny excuse won’t hold forever. He glanced over at Aleya, who was busy bartering for some food. She brushed away some of her long, black hair revealing her pointed elf ears.  Women don’t like a man who smells like rotting fish.

Suddenly, Ryan slapped Max on the back. “I got us a lead on a bounty. Two hundred pounds of magic dust to capture Rickets Ron.”

“How’d he get that name?”

“You don’t want to know.”

Aleya returned from her food bartering mission. She reached over with her soft, lightly tanned hands to offer Max what looked like a piece of watermelon when a young man in page’s clothing interrupted by pulling out a scroll. 

“Hear ye, hear ye!” he shouted. “The lord, MadSkillz, has grown tired of the elves keeping secrets within Fort 51. Anyone wishing to join him on his mission to raid Fort 51 and see ‘them scientists’ need to meet him at Sa’ry in three weeks. And please, message fairy him an RSVP.”

Someone from the crowd laughed. “Ha! Scientists? Everyone knows scientists don’t exist!”

Another person chimed in, “And I don’t feel like getting tarred and feathered by the elf knights who protect the place.”

The crowed began to break up, muttering and scoffing as they did. Max started to leave but stopped when he saw that Ryan and Aleya hadn’t moved.

“What do you think they keep at Fort 51?” Ryan asked the elf princess. If anyone knew, you’d think it’d be her. “I’ve heard that’s where they keep the strange stuff.”

“Strange stuff?” said Max. “We just stopped a dirt path from swallowing a traveler because he threw a piece of trash on the ground. Talk about road rage.”

Ryan shrugged. “OK. The stranger stuff.”

“I hear that they keep a creature that’ll wash clothes in exchange for small discs of metal,” said Aleya. 

Max and Ryan glanced at each other then back at Aleya. “You mean a washing machine?” said Ryan. Like Max, Ryan came from the modern world, but he’d been transported months–maybe longer–before Max.

Aleya pondered what Ryan said for a moment. “Neve heard of a ‘washing machine,’ but I have heard rumors that Fort 51 has a knife that can slice open small metal food containers. It makes this buzzzz noise as it attacks.” 

“That would be a can opener,” said Ryan, trying to hide a smile. “It’s from our world as well.”

Aleya’s anime-like eyes sparkled. “The Old World had such wonderful things. I hope once we end the spell, I can see these can openers.”

Ryan tapped his finger near his freckles. “Maybe you can see one sooner. We could join the Fort Raiders.”

Max laughed dryly. “No. We have enough trouble as it is without angering the elf knights.”


Alone (eBook only) is on sale for $0.99 until Sept. 3, 2019. Buy now and join in the urban fantasy adventure.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!


Copyright © 2019 Joe Rover

The Wizard of New Town and related characters Copyright © 2016-Present by Joe Rover

All rights reserved. No part of this post may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without prior written permission of the author/publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews or as a repost/share with link to the original post.

All characters, organizations, and locations in this post have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation to anyone bearing the same name or names. Any resemblance to individuals known or unknown to the author are purely coincidental.