The following is a fanfiction of events in the Hermitcraft series on YouTube and the Disney Plus series The Mandalorian. Please consider showing your support for both by checking out their respective channels or episodes (if possible). The parody names also come from the comments section of their videos.
Note: This was written before the outcome of the Turf War.
See, this is what happens when writers procrastinate writing their own stuff.
Chapter 16.5 The Player Head
Fearing that he would lose the Turf War and never see the glorious return of the Mycelium Resistance, Moff Grian abducted Scar’s Baby Yoda player head. Soon after its abduction, the Scaralorian traveled to Moff Grian’s upside down base in the Nether to discuss terms of release.
“I will give you the Player Head,” said Moff Grian with a wicked smile, “if you’ll build the back of my mansion.”
The terms were unfortunately too high and too impossible for Scar, and he had to leave empty-handed. But, he still had a plan.
The Scaralorian traveled across the server to recruit Bdubs and Cub for an assault on the Mycelium Resistance HQ. Though it looked like a Smurf home, the base was far more deadly thanks to modifications done by Doc.
Once united, the trio recruited Mumbo Jumbo so they could use his flying machine the Redstone I. As Mumbo finished prepping his flying machine, Scar polished his netherite armor and sharpened his netherite sword.
“How are you going to clean your helmet?” asked Bdubs. “You never take it off.”
The Scaralorian simply sighed.
Soon, they were on their way. The Redstone I slowly inched its way to the mushroom-like base.
“Punch it,” said Scar.
“This is Minecraft,” said Mumbo. “This is as fast as it goes.”
Scar sighed once again.
Two hours later, the raiders arrived at the base. As they drew closer Doc’s security system activated. TNT canons shot at the Redstone I.
“I’ll go ahead,” said the Scaralorian. “I’ll draw their fire while you make your way there.”
Scar switched out his netherite chest plate for an elytra. Scar leapt from the flying machine and blasted towards the base using a supply of rockets. The Scaralorian expertly dodged the canon fire. Flashes of light exploded around him as the air grew thick with the smell of gunpower. Finally, the air became less turbulent as Scar ducked down into the area under the canon’s range. He landed with a soft thud at the foot of the base. He ignored the nearby button; he wasn’t Moff Grian after all.
About twenty minutes later, the Redstone I arrived. Mumbo hacked the front door thanks to his knowledge of piston doors. However, the group was met by a mob of zombie troopers. The place quickly became a mess of swords, arrows, and rotten flesh…but the zombie troopers kept coming.
“We’re about to be overran,” said Cub in a panic.
Fortunately, Bdubs packed his bed. He placed down the bed and went to sleep. The time changed to day and the zombies caught fire in the sunlight.
With the way clear, the four hermits entered the base. Sitting atop a massive wooden throne was Moff Grian. A parrot with a nametag of Pesky Bird perched on the left armrest. Three dark hermit troopers stood at his side. Impulse, Rendog, and Etho waited wearing Bdubs player heads.
“Why am I here again?” asked Impulse.
“Shh,” said Moff Grian, “you’re not supposed to talk.” He then cleared his throat and faced the Scaralorian and his friends. “I shouldn’t be surprised that you made it this far, Scaralorian, but this is as far as you and your motley grew go…unless you agree to my terms and build the back of my mansion.” Scar stared at Moff Grian without saying a word. “Are…are you narrowing your eyes menacingly? It’s hard to tell with that helmet in the way.” Scar pulled his netherite sword. “Ah, I see that is your answer then.”
With a nod from Moff Grian, the three dark hermit troopers drew their diamond swords. Bdubs, Cub, and Mumbo equipped their iron swords.
“Hermit Challenges!” yelled Mumbo before charging at the nearest foe, who happened to be Etho.
Bdubs and Cub soon followed. The room filled with grunts and clangs as Scar approached Moff Grian. The Scaralorian sliced at Moff Grian with his netherite sword. At the last second, Moff Grian deflected the blow with his own netherite sword; however, it glowed with enchantments.
“Ha!” laughed the Resistance Mother Spore. “Didn’t think I had one of these, did you?”
Moff Grian struck at Scar. Scar blocked it. The two fought, striking and blocking. The swords clashed in bursts of iconic buzzing and crackling sounds. Finally, Scar won the upper-hand and knocked Moff Grian to the floor.
“Where is Baby Yoda?” demanded Scar.
“He’s over there,” pointed Moff Grian.
Scar turned only for a moment, but that was enough time for Moff Grian to equip his elytra. “You will never find the Player Head!” Moff Grian blasted off using rockets and shot through a hole in the base’s ceiling. A moment later, Scar rocketed after him.
The three dark hermit troopers and the three allies of the Scaralorian stopped fighting once Moff Grian and Scar left.
Cub faced Impulse; Rendog stared down Bdubs; and Etho met eyes with Mumbo.
“Wanna grab some cake while we wait this out?” asked Etho.
“Yeah, sure,” said everyone.
Moff Grian soared over the shopping district with the Scaralorian in hot pursuit. The two danced around buildings and shot down alleyways. They weaved through small openings and rocketed passed a couple of shopping hermits who nearly fell over in the wake of the flyers.
“Ha! Ha!” said Moff Grian. He took a moment to glance backwards in order to better mock Scar. “You’re only second to my flying skills!” He returned his attention to the sky before him only to see a ring from his Turf War mini-game a moment before impact.
“Moff Grian died from terminal karma,” reported the chat.
Moff Grian’s inventory exploded outwards, including the Baby Yoda player head. The items and player head tumbled towards the ground like little meteors. Scar dived towards the helpless Minecraft item block. He hoped his elytra would hold together as he picked up speed. The ground grew closer and closer.
Finally, he retrieved Baby Yoda. He pulled up and soon they were safely back in the air.
The Scaralorian and Baby Yoda returned to the Mycelium base and the Redstone I. Scar thanked Bdubs, Cub, and Mumbo with three diamond blocks each. Then with Baby Yoda in his off-hand, Scar turned and walked into the sunset.
“You know,” said Bdubs, “if we were accurate to the season finale of The Mandalorian, we would have–“
“Hey!” said Impulse. “No spoilers!”
Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.
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Bdubs’ footsteps echoed off the walls of Mumbo Jumbo’s mega-base. Finally, after nearly getting lost, he found Mumbo Jumbo at a lectern.
“What’cha doing?” asked Bdubs.
“Writing a book,” said Mumbo, finally turning around.
“A book?” said Bdubs. “A Book of Mumbo Jumbo? What’s that about?”