journey

THE JOURNEY | Dogboy Chronicles Short Tail

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Day 1

Alas, it is time to go. I must journey to a far-off place to learn at the feet of the master of viral and meme content. Hopefully, I will return with the knowledge to make my content more engaging. The trip will be harrowing and fraught with danger…but at least it has Wi-Fi.

Day 2

I’ve boarded the ship bound to Icon Island. The waves continually beat against the bow of our ship. The never-ending up and down of the ocean might stymie others, but my stomach is much more…

Excuse me a moment.

*sounds of vomiting*

Day 3

With the waves calming, I journeyed above deck with the other passengers. They gathered above to breathe in the sea air and enjoy the sunshine. The ship was crowded with beings of all shapes and sizes; and like me, these passengers were on their own adventure.

I don’t know what horrors await us.

“Last call for tonight’s bingo session!” shouted one of the cruise workers.

Day 4

Bingo was a bust. The little old lady from Pasadena won the pot. The lizard man from New York City seemed especially vexed.

Once again, the waves beat against our helpless ship.

KkkttTT!

“Ready the wave control torpedoes!” ordered the captain via the ship’s PA system.

Yes, it is dark times ahead. I see no hope insight.

“The captain,” announced a worker through the PA system, “would like to remind everyone that tonight’s all-you-can-eat buffet has been cancelled.”

I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.

Day 5

The torpedoes used to control the waves and calm the sea failed. Now, a storm threatens the ship. The waters have groan more intense. Everything that isn’t nailed down flops and slides out of control. The winds howl and lightning fills the sky with aerial fire.

Why is the floor wet?

Day 6

Somehow, we survived the storm and the trials of the sea. We finally reached Icon Island where the crew generously helped me disembark.

*BOOT!*

“And stay off, fleabag!” shouted the worker. “This is why we don’t allow Supers onboard! They’re a jinx!”

As I emptied my mouth of a mountain of sand, the cruise ship sped off as fast as it could.

I knew I shouldn’t have participated in this morning’s round of Mutant in Our Mist. Ricky Redd sussed me out immediately.

Day 7

I checked in at the resort.

“I have a ten o’clock appointment with the Viral Master.”

The clerk nodded. “He is expecting you.”

“I should hope so. I have an appointment.”

Day 8

I finally met with the Viral Master, a wise old man with white hair and beard. He dressed in blue jeans, a layered t-shirt, and sunglasses which hid his wrinkled eyes.

“In order to make viral posts and grow your online community, you must first hunt the animals of this land,” he said. “Return to me when you have three boar tusks, a chicken feather, and the wing of a bat.”

I groaned. “I hate fetch quests.”

“Why, young werewolf? You are so good at them.”

Days 9-11

I spent most of my time trying to track down and capture the boars, chicken, and bat. It was not easy among the mud and seemingly ever-present rain. And the place looked so much more pleasant when I first arrived.

Day 12

I returned to the Viral Master with the items and three layers of caked-on mud.

“Excellent work,” he said. “Although, I thought werewolves were better hunters.”

I growled. “Keep talking and you’ll be much more spiritual.” I sighed. “What was the purpose of this?”

“To become a viral hit, you must have the tenacity and ferocity of a boar, the power to overcome your fears, and the strength to fly though you’ll be called names by trolls and their kind.”

“And you couldn’t have just told me this?”

“It is better to learn things in your heart then to be told them. Plus, I needed you to do my shopping. Care for some bat-wing stew?”

“Eh, no thanks.”

“Then your training is complete. All the trials you have faced coming here have strengthened your resolve. You also have a story of you being a complete idiot. Ha! Coming all this way to train! What a silly idea!” The Master slapped me on the back. “Everyone loves a post where the person acts silly or stupid.”

I slapped my forehead. “So…how do I get back home? I got kicked off the ship.”

“That’s your problem, kiddo.”

Copyright Joe Rover 2021. All rights reserved.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!

A Reader’s Journey

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A while back I worked on a list of my Top 10 favorite authors. I had a hard time picking the ten; there have been so many enjoyable reads. For the most part I chose those that had a big or lasting impact on my life.

Encyclopedia Brown and Wayside School got me interested in reading. They were the first books I did for book reports–much to the mocking of my classmates. Ironically, I would later figure out that they probably didn’t even read a book. I also got some grief from my teachers who saw pop culture literature as “low.” They also didn’t like sci-fi or fantasy, not even the classic fantasy or science fiction. That left the classics. Frankly, they were boring.

It wasn’t until the Wishbone series that I started enjoying the classics. The series made the classics more interesting, relatable, and understandable. 

Then when Wishbone and Animorphs ended, I had to look for something else to read. I did read books based on DC and Marvel characters; but since the authors for those change with each book, I couldn’t find any more. 

Eventually, I wondered the aisles looking for something (that couldn’t be found). Later, a made-for-TV movie aired called Sole Survivor. I watched and found it interesting. Soon, I learned that the movie was based on a book by Dean Koontz. As soon as possible, I headed to the bookstore. I found another book by Koontz called Odd Thomas. I tried it out; found it great; and wanted more. Too bad there weren’t any more at our local bookstore.

Seemed like my adventure was over. 

Enter the library book sale. I found some other books by Dean Koontz. But it was one book that interested me in particular: Mr. Murder. I knew of this one. As I looked at the other Koontz books, I learned that I’d read others of his and enjoyed them. I’d been a fan before I knew it.

The trouble was Koontz was still a contemporary author. According to pretty much everyone I knew, if it wasn’t a classic…it wasn’t good. Or if it wasn’t some deep-thought story or some story that could make you look good by reading it, it wasn’t “proper.” So in the beginning, I kept my interest secret; but eventually, I said, “I like what I like. Get over it.” You can like the classics or the philosophy stories if you want, but I liked these.

I find it funny to this day that while growing up when I told people I liked stories with werewolves, vampires, wizards, and zombies, they would laugh at me or call me a loser. They would again say that I wasn’t spectacular like them because I read the “low forms of writing.” Then, one day…Harry Potter. Everyone loved wizards and then vampires and zombies. Science fiction and fantasy became popular.

So, I had to give Dean Koontz the top spot on my list because if I hadn’t found any of his books, I probably would have given up on reading. It is really difficult to find a new book to read when you don’t know any author names or don’t know what kind of genre you like. Or in my case, everyone telling you that the genres you like are “not good enough” or “lowbrow.” It really doesn’t encourages people to read when you tell them the stuff they like is uncouth and silly.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!

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From Dean Koontz…comes an epic thriller about a terrifying threat to humanity and the singular compassion it will take to defeat it.

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For the first time in twenty-five years, Wayside School is back in session in this brand-new, fourth installment in the perennially beloved and bestselling series by Newbery Medal-winning author Louis Sachar.

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