Be the Salt | Writing Warm-Up

Are you a MyVideo creator who’s tried everything and still can’t get any views?

Try Blue Light Technologies’ Box O’ Salt. Take a teaspoon 15 minutes before your next recording session and BAM you’re the saltiest person on the server. Watch those views pour in as the salt rains down upon you. 

Not intended for use by non-gamers. Does not guarantee an increase in viewer count. Side effects include: rage quitting, broken controllers, loss of subscribers, hate comments, and dislikes. 

Box O’ Salt, pick it up at your local BLT store and become the Salt you were always mean to be.

Copyright 2020 Joe Rover. All rights reserved.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.


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No Wrong Turns at Albuquerque | Fortnite Season 5 Review

Season five of Fortnite (chapter two) started off with a bang—literally, as the Zero Point is exposed. With it exposed everyone is trying to escape the loop. To stop the players from escaping, Agent Jones hires hunters from all across the multiverse, including The Mandalorian.

The new season has many enjoyable new features. One is the crystals that allow players to dash-teleport for a limited time. Another is the introduction of NPCs (non-playable characters) that offer upgrades and bounties.

Speaking of bounties, you can be assigned the task of eliminating a random player in exchange for gold bars. This means you can also be targeted. Any gold bars collected can be used to purchase weapon upgrades or hire a hunter to help you in battle.

I do like the cleaner lobby UI. There isn’t as much competing for your attention. I also like the new quests menu; I like how the quests and challenges are in the form of text messages from characters.

Thankfully, the punchcards have been integrated into the quest system. With the new system, you don’t feel overwhelmed by 50 punchcards displayed all at once; now, you are given the tasks a few at a time. The missions also seem like little stories instead of just challenges.

I really enjoy how much easier it is to check quests, eliminations, and the map while in the match. I like how you don’t have to guess at the controls to switch between tabs.

It did, however, feel like all my settings were reset between seasons. It seems like the aiming is off and that the camera moves faster, but that could be because I’m just bad at the game.

I do like the auto-run feature; I’m not constantly redoing the button press for running each time my fingers slip.

But, my favorite new feature so far is the sand tunneling. In the sand covered middle of the map, you can sink into the sand and move around at a fairly high speed. You can use this ability to get around, hide, or sneak up on players. I do wish they could turn off the feature once the match is over. If you are standing on the sand when the match ends, you still sink which prevents you from doing a victory emote. Update: It seems that Epic Games did fix this bug. In a recent match, I was standing on the sand at the moment of victory but didn’t sink.

I also wish they would fix the bug where you get a message saying they can’t find your preorder even though you didn’t order anything.

With new features, bounties, and The Mandalorian beskar armor quests, the latest season of Fortnite is looking interesting. 4.5/5

What are your thoughts on the new season? What hunters do you think they’ll add? How do you think the season will end? Reply in the comments below.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.


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From Dec. 18-Jan. 1 many of my eBooks will be 50%-100% off!

The Impostor Word | Among Us

That’s right, folks. Hold on to your web browser…I’m doing a post on Among Us, the game developed by InnerSloth where you suss out the most sus(picious) sus(pect) by using your over 500 IQ.

Why am I doing this? A) Among Us is one of the most trending games at the moment, so I’m going to ride those virtual coattails. B) It’s near Halloween, and what better spooky topic than a shapeshifting murderous space parasite that causes you to be sus of your own friends.

I’m not going to talk about over 500 IQ strats or touch on the lore–there are plenty of those on YouTube and other blogs. I’m not even going to discuss my theory that the game is so popular because it features people in space suits trying to carry on with their daily lives while dealing with a infectious creature that kills their friends and family during a pandemic in the real world. You can thank The Game Theorists video on the Among Us lore for that connection. MatPat talks about how there are so many body snatching alien movies during the 1950s, which was the height of the Red Scare.

Nope. I’m going to talk about the latest buzzword/slang “sus.” It is used as a chat shortcut for “suspicious” or “suspect”…most often for “suspicious.” For example, “I saw Red standing over the body; it’s very sus.”

With the growing popularity of Among Us, more and more people are using “sus,” mostly as a joke. I’ve been through many trending slang words over the years and most of the time they don’t bother me. I find some of them even funny and some I start using. But, for some reason, “sus” got on my nerves right away. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older. “Those young people and their silly slang; why can’t they just speak normal like the rest of us? Oh, hey, George…whaaaazzzzup?”

No, I think the reason “sus” bothers me is because it’s an impostor.

Duh-duh-duuuh…

Most other buzzwords can be silly, fun, or in some way positive or neutral. “Sus” on the other hand is negative. You’re telling someone you are suspicious of them or suspect them of something. Even if you don’t really mean it, it has that connotative meaning behind it. You are implying guilt. The word pretends to be a happy, friendly word–“Oh, look, isn’t that just sus. Hahahaha…”–when in fact, it is a word that causes distrust and blame. In the game, you use it to point the finger at someone or to pass blame on to others.

Also, everyone acts like saying “sus” is some new, creative thing. We’ve been using the word “suss” for years to show that you are trying to figure something out. A detective will try to suss out a criminal. A student tries to suss out their homework. And if you just Google search “suss” and look at the dictionary, “suss” was an abbreviation for “suspect” or “suspicion” in the 1930s…weird, almost a hundred years ago (now that’s some Halloween spookiness right there). People have just dropped the extra “s” much like they drop a “g” in something like “going.”

And “sus” isn’t the only impostor. The whole “over 500 IQ” statement is an impostor. Like “sus” it can carry an negative connotation. It makes you sound like you are bragging or that you are better than everyone else.

We’ve got to launch these villainous slang words out the airlock before they completely infect our language. We must not become lazy and complacent in our writing!

Creeeek…

No. I was only kidding, Red. Heh, heh. It’s a Halloween post. It’s just for fun. No. No need for the spike tongue. NOOO!!

GLAK!

Happy Halloween…and I’ll see you next wormhole. Thanks for reading.


The Beast of Camp TimberWolf is on sale till Nov. 1.