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The Great Ostrich (A We Have Issues Fan Story)

JoeRover Dogboy Chronicles, Season 3 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A fan story inspired by the recent We Have Issues podcast episode. Check out their stuff here.

Eons ago, the Great Ostrich arrived on Earth from beyond time and space. It came with a purpose unfathomable to the human mind. But worry not, for the Ostrich now sleeps with its head buried in the sand. However when the stars are right, the Great Ostrich will stir and call forth its Chosen.

Not that many years ago…

Stephen rested on the couch after finishing the shading for panel three. His breath was slow and relaxed. His eyes moved back and forth in a state of pleasant REM. Then, the Voice interrupted his dream of dominating every player in a Magic: The Gathering tournament.

“Stephen,” said a Voice that reverberated in the artist’s bones like standing too close to the speakers at a rock concert.

Stephen twitched faintly.

“Stephen,” repeated the Voice.

The mere mortal’s dream changed to a barren land of darkness. Nothing existed except for the piece of land that he stood on. The Abyss peered into Stephen’s soul, and he felt an empty chill.

“Stephen,” said the bodiless voice. “I am the Great Ostrich, and I have chosen you to be one of my heralds.”

Stephen’s eyes brightened. “You mean like the Silver Surfer?”

“Hmm…kinda, but without the powers.”

Stephen snapped his fingers. “Drat!” He cleared his throat; his tone changed to a serious, albeit frightened, tone. “Why have you chosen me?”

“My reasons are my own!” bellowed the Voice causing the Abyss to shutter. Stephen cringed.

The Voice spoke softer. “It may or may not have to do with how awesome your hair is.”

“Thank you,” Stephen flipped part of his long hair behind him. “It does take some upkeep.”

The Voice returned to business. “I have chosen you to enact my glorious plans.”

“What plans are those?”

The Abyss rumbled with thunder. “Were you not paying attention when the Narrator was speaking?! My plans are unfathomable to the human mind!”

Stephen lowered his head. “Apologies, O Feathered One.”

“But you cannot complete my tasks alone. You must seek out the other I have chosen. He is known as Anthony. He has seen my true form, and it has driven him mad. He now dates robots and posts silly things on Twitter.”

“He sounds cool.”

“Don’t interrupt.”

“Sorry, my ostrich overlord.”

“Only together will you create my book, Deathless. It will spread across the globe carrying my word. Once you have reached 129 backers on Kickstarter, you will start The Colony.”

Stephen turned his head slightly skyward as if he could see the Voice. “Why 129? Why not 130?”

The Great Ostrich ignored the interruption. “The Colony will be a place for others to follow you and in turn follow me. You will serve them Kool-Aid made with dirt from the land I kick up with my mighty ostrich legs. They will gladly partake of it because it will increase their creativity a hundredfold. It will connect them to me. I will become their muse and whisper their truth.”

Stephen nodded his head. “Find co-conspirator, create unholy book of doom, set up sinister cult…mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Anything else?”

“One day, a writer will record this very tale. He is perhaps more insane than Anthony. I mean, he is spending precious time on a tale that won’t make him money and will probably go largely unnoticed. He should really be working on his own stories. He already has three chapters to edit and one to finish drafting.”

Yeesh! Now I’m being nagged at by some cosmic horror ostrich.

“Shh, Author, don’t spoil the immersion,” said the Ostrich Deity.

Too late for that.

“Where was I?” grumbled the cosmic beast.

You were telling people that they should check out my stories on Kindle Vella.

“No I wasn’t, and stop that. No one likes self-promotion.”

Stephen checked his watch as the Narrator and Ostrich continued to bicker. He sighed impatiently. It was almost lunchtime. Chili dogs sounded good.

The Great Ostrich sighed. “This is what I get for using creatives.” The Deity cleared whatever passed for a disembodied throat. He addressed Stephen, who was now sitting in a chair reading the latest Deadpool comic. Once the Ostrich started speaking, Stephen tossed the comic over his shoulder like a student getting caught reading a comic in class. He bolted out of the chair. “After the story is published, you will know it is time to begin phase 2 of The Plan.”

“And what is that?” asked Stephen.

“To meet Kevin Smith!”

Stephen’s neck and head jerked back a little in confusion. “Kevin Smith?”

“He is integral to my plan. He is being…prepared as we speak.”

The Ostrich voice laughed evilly. The universe seemed to twist and shake at the sound.

Stephen joined in the festivities.

“Uh, no,” said the Voice with a hint of disdain. “I get to laugh manically; you are a pawn; you get to stand there and bask in my glory.”

Stephen bowed. “Yes, my dark and beaked overlord.”

The Great Ostrich started laughing again.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!

Flintstones Evolution and Hexagon Issue 3 | Rapid Reviews

JoeRover Rapid Reviews, Reviews , , , , , , , ,

Evolution of THE FLINTSTONES Over 60 Years (1960-2020) Explained by Dave Lee Down Under (YouTube)

Once again, Dave Lee delivers an excellent Cartoon Evolution video. The voice over was well done; I could understand each word he said.

I enjoyed the transitions/pacing. It was not 40 minutes of him talking nonstop; he took short breaks for clips—it broke up the video well. The editing was great. It felt fluid and professional. There were no awkward jerks or cuts.

However, I felt like I didn’t learn as much in this episode as others. It seemed like there wasn’t as much behind the scenes or origin information.

But, I loved how the video was at times synced to what Lee was saying. For example, while Lee spoke about how much the live-action Flintstones movie made, a clip of Fred Flintstone fantasizing about making lots of money played.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

HEXAGON #3 by Michael Moreci (Author) and Jheremy Raapack (Illustrator) (Impact Theory Comics)

The various covers for HEXAGON #3 was the first thing to make me go “oooh…” It just continued from there.

The artwork continues to impress me as does the pacing and writing. The artists, writers, and editors know exactly when to pull a panel out or zoom in on a character. I really enjoy the lighting style; it makes it look like everyone is being lit by a stage spotlight. The lighting adds to the 80s feel and to the feel of music being an important part of the story.

I didn’t feel as rushed with this issue. It felt like I got to take a break from the action and mystery of the previous issues and catch my breath but that does not mean the story was slow or boring. The first issue was the origin—setting up everything; the second introduced the mystery and conflict (i.e. the story “started”); and the third felt like a catch up/rest period.

My main concern with this issue was Don’s friends didn’t go with him (so far). I hope we get to see more of them, especially seeing their reactions when they find out the truth about Don’s background. 

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Do you have any books, games, or movies to recommend? Let me know in the comments.

Until the next wormhole..thanks for reading!

Do you like sci-fi and fantasy? Hungry for adventure?

From July 1-31, many of my books will be on sale during the Smashwords Summer/Winter Sale. The participating books will be anywhere from 25% to 100% off. While there, check out some of the other participating authors.

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What Makes a Good TMNT Movie

JoeRover Odds and Ends, Reviews , , , , , , , , ,

In a couple of videos by The Old Turtle Den, they talked about the new Ninja Turtle reboot movie. They asked what we’d like to see from it. Do we want an origin story or a story involving experienced Ninja Turtles? The question got me thinking about why I like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the first place.

When I was younger and watched the original TMNT, I wanted them to have superpowers or dive into the mystic/paranormal. But as time went on and I saw other action-adventure fantasy shows, I did not want the Turtles to have mystic abilities. I liked the fact that they battled big threats with swords and staffs.

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They were ninjas; it didn’t make sense for them to have advanced weapons. It gave the show a feeling of “with teamwork you could do anything.” You didn’t need to rely on superpowers or awesome machines to reach your goals.

I do think the Turtles should be stronger, faster, and more durable than normal humans–they are mutants–but not to the extent seen in the Michael Bay films where they were bulletproof and could throw around shipping containers. The Turtles should more dependent on their ninja skills/intelligence with the mutant side being more of an explanation as to why they can survive fights (or why turtles can move that fast).

Personally, I like that Splinter was human then become a rat. First, it helps explain the rules of the mutagen (i.e. you mix with the last animal you were in contact with–man mixed with rats or turtles mixed with man). Second, Hamoto Yoshi was in exile…for different reasons depending on the version. He is than further exiled by becoming a rat. It just added depth to the character–not only is he an outsider coming from Japan, but now he’s an animal most people think of as disgusting. It reinforces the theme of being different, not being able to be part of humanity. Splinter and the Turtles have to remain hidden not because they’re ninjas, but because they’re strange beings.

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Finally, I enjoy how the Turtles’ weapons reflect their personalities. 

Leonardo is the leader (in most versions). When we think of swords/katanas, we think of discipline and elegance or agility.

The sword is usually the first older (or low-tech) weapon people think of–it is the leader. 

Raphael has the sai. He has to get in close in order to attack (or he can throw a sai). Raphael is the brawler Turtle with a temper. He prefers to attack at very close range.

Donatello is smart and inventive. He would rather spend his time creating. It makes sense that he would attack from a distance, even further than the other Turtles. Raph’s sai can be thrown, but what good is it then; this is an intimidation technique. Donnie’s staff can be used from a distance and remain effective. Donnie is a thinker, not a fighter. I also find it ironic that the group’s inventor would have “a stick” as his weapon. This goes further into Donnie’s personality as an inventor who’s inventions sometimes don’t work out as planned; he’s smart but at times can still be silly or inexperienced. 

Michelangelo is the party dude, and the nunchaku seemed to be seen by as flashy or showy (yet still deadly). They seem to be the weapon people make the most jokes about, such as someone hitting themselves with the nunchaku. Also, people seem to think of the nunchaku as the simplest weapon or easiest to learn when in fact they are more complex. The audience, as well as the other Turtles, see Mikey as the youngest or least complex of the characters; he’s the pizza-loving, surfer dude, but maybe there’s more to him. There have been times when he’s proven to be knowledgeable with it comes to paranormal events, or when it comes time to think outside of the box.

While I prefer a non-origin story for the reboot, I hope the creators keep to the heart of the Ninja Turtles…a little serious but also not so much. They are ninjas and ninjas are assassins, but they’re also teenagers and mutant turtles. You just got to love the juxtaposition of silent, skillful ninjas and not so quiet teens.

What are your thoughts on the TMNT reboot? Who’s your favorite character, hero or otherwise? Let me know in the comments section.

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Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!

Rough Draft Typing | Behind the Scenes

JoeRover Living the Write Life, Odds and Ends , , , , , , , , ,

Today’s post is brought to you by…you. Thanks for all the likes and follows. Thanks for all the book purchases. Thank you!

Every job, or hobby for that matter, has its ups and downs. There is always that thing that makes you groan when you think about doing it. It could be having to charge the batteries to your drone’s remote or having to put up with the demands of your clients.

For me, one of things I don’t like about writing is moving my rough draft from paper to word processor. It feels like “didn’t I just do this?” I want to go on to the next chapter; see the next adventure, but you are stuck typing up what you’ve already done. Now I know you can just type a rough draft and not do a handwritten version. I’ve tried that but the story seemed to slow down as I stopped because of noticeable red lines under misspellings; I knew I had something misspelled, and I had to go back for it. Also, there are a lot of distractions on computer screens with notifications and messages.

One way to help me with the transition from notebook to computer is listening to livestreams or music.

The trouble is it matters which livestream I listen to. If the livestream is full of action, such as a superhero video game or a shooter, I spend more time watching the video than working on the book.

stampylonghead

The livestream needs to be a kind of chill one that is almost like a podcast. However, there are some exceptions. For instance, the Valorant livestream by Blitzwinger. It is a shooter game, but the match format allows me to watch one or two matches; get the idea of the game; and listen from then on.

The good news is that if a livestream is too “rowdy” for the typing period, I can always save it for a break period. The longer video format allows me to have something to watch for multiple breaks; I don’t have to keep trying to figure out what I want to watch.

Ironically, if I’m listening to music while typing, it is the opposite. I need to listen to upbeat or thrilling music, much like “Hero of Our Time” by NateWantsToBattle or “Build Our Machine” by Dagames.

What are some of the downsides of your favorite hobby or job? How do you cope with them? Let me know in the comments section.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!

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Recommended #46

JoeRover Reviews , , , , , , , , ,

The following are my opinion and do not reflect the opinion of any organization or person.

Who would have thought I’d be doing a second Recommended post dealing with stuff to do while under the COVID-19 lockdown? I didn’t. Well, it was more like hoped I won’t have to–I’d hoped that it would have been over by then.

MKIceAndFire
Ghost Paper
TheOdd1sOut
MKIceAndFire

Do you have any recommendations? Tell me in the comments.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.

Rapid Reviews: Comics and More (Quarantine Special)

JoeRover Rapid Reviews, Reviews , , , , , , , , ,

The Gamer by Sangyoung Seong and Sang-A (Webtoons): The comic features a young man who one day gains the abilities of a gamer; he can level up his intelligence and strength. He is also able to learn new skills. The series has a interesting premise and the art style is nice. The characters have a realistic comic book look, but the switch between the “realistic” style and the cartoony-over-dramatic drawings offer a break and humor. The fact the comic focuses more on the main character leveling up than battles and action is also a unique choice (at this point I’ve only ready about 50 parts, so that might change later). What I enjoyed about his semi-lack of fights is that I didn’t noticed it until I was about 40 parts into it. Even though most of the story involves the main character pondering what to do, the series is not slow nor without mystery.

Erift’s Journeys: Secrets of the Sealed Forest by J.T. Tenera: Tenera accomplished what most writers dream of–an interesting hook. The beginning of the book immediately peaked my interest. The interaction between Joseph and Eric kept the book interesting and alive. However, the book does enter a dry period as Professor Ben explains his research in great detail. I kept feeling like, “Let’s get on with it.” But, the book ends strongly with a lot of suspense, action, and mystery. I enjoyed that the ending was left open with the “Big Bad” escaping and hints that Joseph’s story is far from over, but Secrets of the Sealed Forest left me satisfied. I felt like while the overall story was not over this adventure was; the story did not leave me with a feeling of frustration or like I had a hole inside.

DOOM Eternal

DOOM ETERNAL Walkthrough Gameplay Part 1 – INTRO (FULL GAME) by theRadBrad ‪(YouTube)

DOOM ETERNAL Gameplay Walkthrough Part 1 – 2+ HOURS FULL GAME – Intro + Mission 1 PS4 DOOM Gameplay by‬ GhostRobo (YouTube)

DOOM ETERNAL Gameplay Walkthrough Part 1 FULL GAME [1080p 60FPS PC ULTRA] – No Commentary by MKIceAndFire (YouTube)

The soundtrack and setting was awesome. I loved how the soundtrack made you feel like you were a slayer/gladiator ripping and tearing your way through horde after horde of demons. The set pieces always amazed me. The scenes made me feel small (yet strangely not powerless) while also making me feel like I was part of the world; I felt transported to the universe of DOOM. Since I hadn’t played a DOOM game in a very long time, and only for about a half hour or hour then giving it up, I was lost with all the talk about Maykrs and the Legend of the Slayer. And the game didn’t offer much in the way of help. I finally had to look it up on the Internet. But, I was still confused by why Doomguy would trust anything Dr. Hayden would say after he apparently betrayed Doomguy in one of the other games. Doomguy seemed to have no problem following Hayden’s orders. Finally, I enjoyed that the game never seemed to have a slow moment. It seemed like you were always on the move–especially during battle (you stood still for very long, you were killed). DOOM Eternal is a pure adrenaline rush from soundtrack to setting to action.

Urban Animal by Justin Jordan and John Amor (Webtoons): Urban Animal follows the life of Joe Gomez who discovers he can change into any animal, even going so far as to mixing parts and creating new animals. I enjoyed the raw art style. It felt very primal and animistic. The sharp edges and semi-muted colors gave the comic a very ancient, caveman-like feel. I could have lived without so many naked people scenes (Joe and other Chimera can’t morph their clothes–thankfully they can use nature to make a new set). As for the story, the writing was excellent. I felt like the story was always moving forward and that every scene meant something.

The Boring Days and Awesome Nights of Roy Winklesteen by Sally Dill: Dill seemed to know her audience. The book is definitely designed for middle school readers. The story’s flow of easily resolved problems isn’t ideal for adult or teen readers but is excellent for younger readers who want to “feel safe.” However, this ease of conflict resolution leaves the story feeling like there is no rise in action or risk to the character. In one chapter, Roy’s father uncovers how Roy escapes from his room every night. Roy is worried that his father will remove the rope. In the end, the father forgets about the rope. Roy doesn’t even have to attempt to convince his father to leave the rope or plot another escape. One feature of the story I enjoyed the most is that many of the unimportant events are summarized. When Roy decides to spy on his neighbor, I thought, “Oh no, now we’ll have 10 chapters of him following his neighbor around.” I was happy to see that the spying lasted about a paragraph–the story then moved on to the next plot point.

Ialin’s Curse by Isakytm (Webtoons): I felt that the artwork pulled you in. The switching between light colored scenes to dark, more threatening scenes set the mood. I felt as in danger as David did. When David felt frightened, I did as well. I am also glad that the series creator answered many of questions while leaving just enough unanswered to keep me coming back. The author also did an excellent job of placing cliffhangers for ultimate effect. 

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.

From Mar. 20-Apr. 20 The Beast of Camp TimberWolf and Gift of the Minion will be 60% off during the Smashwords Authors Give Back sale.

Recommended #45 (April Fools Edition)

JoeRover Recommended , ,

The following are my opinion and do not reflect the opinion of any organization or person.

It’s that day again. The day you can’t trust your best friend. The day when even your parents are out to get you. The day you need to bar the windows and hide under the bed. Purge Day. I mean, April Fools.  (Though that is how I felt most April Fools–I was the number one target.)

So here are some April Fools videos. Enjoy and prepare for your DOOOOOM. I mean, prepare to laugh. 

But, make sure you consider visiting their channels and maybe subscribing or else. Ha, ha! April Fools! But seriously, consider visiting their channels. Click on their icon, next to the title, to go to their YouTube channel.

stampylonghead
Minecraft
Vailskibum94
AlternateHistoryHub

Do you have any recommendations? Tell me in the comments.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.

Stay safe and have a happy April Fools!!

Recommended #44 (Quarantine Special)

JoeRover Recommended , , , , , , , , ,

The following are my opinion and do not reflect the opinion of any organization or person.

Bored and don’t know what to do during this pandemic quarantine? Here are some videos and artwork you might enjoy. Please consider showing your support by following/subscribing, liking, and commenting on the sites of these hard working creatives (where applicable).

der.unsterblich9 (Instagram)

ash_or_sketch (Instagram)

HannahsCraftyArt (Etsy Shop)

Ghost Paper
Bruce Carbon Lakeriver
Art with Flo
Grian

Do you have any recommendations? Tell me in the comments.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.

Don’t forget to follow and turn on notifications so you can know when I post again.

Recommended #42 Leap Day Special

JoeRover Recommended , , , , , ,

The following are my opinion and do not reflect the opinion of any organization or person.

It’s Leap Day! That means a special set of recommended links!

I saw in my YouTube feed that Hermicraft Season 7 had begun. It looks like it’ll be an interesting one. There are already feuds and practical jokes!

Mumbo Jumbo
Grian
iskall85
BdubbleO100

Don’t forget to show these creators some support by liking and sharing their hard work. And please consider subscribing to their channels.

Do you have any recommendations? Tell me in the comments.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.

Recommended #41

JoeRover Recommended , , , , , ,

The following are my opinion and do not reflect the opinion of any organization or person.

Antonio Deidda

BruceCarbon

SaskiaSketches on Instagram is doing a Draw Your Characters. Tag a picture of your OC (orginal character) with #sketchmyocsaskia and she might sketch your character in one of her upcoming YouTube videos. 

Top 40 Artist
AustinMcConnell
Ghost Paper

Do you have any recommendations? Tell me in the comments.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.

If you enjoy futuristic science fiction, urban fantasy, or heroic adventures, consider following me on my Amazon Author Page. If you follow me, you’ll notified of new eBook releases.