The music is so good I just can’t let it go…Wait, wrong song.
Into the Unknown from Frozen 2 | Cover by Thomas Straiton
PAWS After Action Report
Codename: Goldfish
On Jan. 24, 19XY, two scuba divers found what appeared to be a dead goldfish. Upon closer inspection, one found the fish to be a gold statue. However, the statue was able to float in the water. A surprisingly light gold statue to accomplish such a feat.
When one of the divers, George McGreevy, touched the statue, he suffered no ill effects except for a burning sensation in his hand. The two decided to return to the surface with the intention of selling it to PAWS or some other research center.
As the two reached land, McGreevy’s partner, one Silas O’Howling, offered his hand in aid to McGreevy. As soon as McGreevy touched O’Howling’s hand, O’Howling turned into solid gold. Or so initial investigations concluded. Upon further study, technicians discovered that the gold, like that of the goldfish figurine (which we now know was a real goldfish at some point), is not pure gold, or gold as we know it. It isn’t necessarily fool’s gold; it is gold, but somehow lighter. It is as if the victim became gold but retained its original weight and properties, which allowed the “dead” fish to float.
After seeing what happened to his friend, McGreevy panicked. He ran into the crowed of beachgoers shouting for help. Those unlucky Good Samaritans were quickly turned to gold. After that, everyone gave McGreevy space. PAWS was called in shortly after. Unfortunately, upon our arrival, McGreevy had already slipped away.
The victims, and the recovered goldfish statue, were brought to PAWS for study. A task force was formed to find McGreevy before he could do anymore harm. Tests with the victims and the goldfish revealed that only the goldfish could pass on the gold touch curse, and it appeared the goldfish could only transfer it once. The going theory is that once it transferred the curse, McGreevy became Patient Zero.
I’d like to take a moment to acknowledge the bravery of Agent Timothy Washboard for volunteering to test the theory. He will be receiving a medal next Tuesday.
After further testing, Brain Walker concluded the goldfish drifted here from Greece. Also, the goldfish was a lot older than we thought. It was alive during ancient times. Walker theorized that the fish contracted the curse from King Midas himself when he entered the water to remove the curse. Somehow, maybe through the meddling of the gods themselves, the fish reached our waters.
We already know that transbeings, such as Dogboy, do exist. It is the reason PAWS was created in the first place–to monitor, and in some cases, protect transbeings. I can also confirm that the ancient gods do exist, and they are disguised as normal people. Most are fairly benign, but largely neutral; however, some still like to toy with mortals for various reasons. The most common is the belief that their reincarnation cycle will end once mankind is destroyed.
Unfortunately, as of yet, the task force assigned to finding McGreevy has turned up no new leads. Although, we have noticed that Number Nine on the International League of Super-Transbeings’ Most Wanted List, Doctor Alchemy, has been buying up as much lead as he can. He’s been paying for the lead with gold that look everyday objects, such as keys, pens, even a toaster or two.
We’ll soon find Doctor Alchemy’s lair and find out why he needs lead if McGreevy can turn anything into gold.
On a lighter note, as Walker analyzed the goldfish, he discovered it was still alive, its golden state acting as a stasis state. Walker believes he can revive not only the fish but anyone else affected by the Midas Touch, maybe even McGreevy. The test is scheduled for 2 pm today. If it is a success, we will have a new weapon to aid us in capturing Doctor Alchemy; and if need be, McGreevy.
End of file.
Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!
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📚Tails From the Omniverse: a Superman x NeverEnding Story fantasy adventure mixed with some Hitchhiker’s Guide-like humor for MG and YA readers.
Joe Rover 
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