The Classic Bout | Dogboy Chronicles Short Tail

Nothing like breaking up an illegal animal fight to get your blood pumping.

Unfortunately, my blood wasn’t the only thing being pumped. The hosts of the title bout pumped the innocent turtle and rabbit full of phantasmic energy and transformed them into a middle-aged genetically modified hippie turtle and an electro-dance DJ named DJ Beat Hopper. 

The turtle did not want to fight, preferring to make love and not war. The rabbit could not let a challenge go unanswered. Soon, a rap battle commenced. 

DJ Beat Hopper laid down some sick rhymes (do people still say that). The turtle remained neutral…at least until Beat Hopper insulted its mother. Then, it was on.


And now these messages.

The latest Dogboy Chronicles book The Lost Files: Episode 1 will be available April 27. Check your favorite eBook retailer and order it today!

And now back to the story.


Both took turns performing lines. The rabbit went full force with fast-paced beats and lyrics that made the audience rock out. The turtle played slower and smoother music that relaxed the audience and made them think about calling their mothers. 

“Slow and mellow wins the rap battle,” hummed the turtle.

But, it looked like the rabbit’s pulse-pounding, head-banging licks were going to put the turtle in his place.

Unfortunately, for those who want to know who won, this is when the International League of Super-Transbeings, with support from PAWS, raided the fight.

The audience and hosts scattered. We got most of them, but I’m sure some escaped.

As for the now humanoid rabbit and turtle, they wrote a book about their life in the ring. They also collabed on a song that made it to the number one spot for three weeks straight.

Copyright Joe Rover 2021. All rights reserved.


So, who do you think should have won? The turtle or the rabbit? Let me know in the comments section.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!

The Street is Lava | Dogboy Chronicles Short Tail

Follow me at Amazon or Smashwords for updates on book releases


“This is Sally Pine reporting live for WAG News. I’m here with the driver of the car that’s been dangling over the edge of Wackmore Bridge for nearly six hours.”

Danny turned his head towards the driver’s side window so that his Omni-Cuff camera could record what he saw. The driver, a college-age male with a baseball cap and Van Dyke mustache, waved. Danny returned his view to Sally.

“Mr. Brinks,” said Sally.

“Call me ‘John.’ Mister is my father.”

“John, you’ve been hanging here for almost six hours…”

“Five hours, forty-nine minutes, and sixteen seconds, but who’s counting.”

“…what has been going through your mind?” Sally finished.

“Hmm…” John tapped his chin a couple times. “Not much. It’s kind of boring actually.”

Sally wanted to make sure she was hearing things correctly. “Boring?”

“Sure, the first hour or two, I was terrified, but after some time the adrenaline wears off. Afterwards, I read some books, watched a movie, and beat some Russian at Chess: Battle Royale.”

Danny switched the view back to Sally so she could ask her next question. “Any idea why it has taken rescue workers so long?

John yawned then shook his head like he was fighting off sleep. “Probably has something to do with the lava.”

The video zoomed in on Sally; she raised an eyebrow. “Lava?”

John pointed over the bridge–the best he could without causing the car to rock more. Sally and Danny peeked over the edge. Orange-red lava bubbled and popped below.

Danny kept his eyes on the lava so his camera could continue recording the street full of lava. “What do you know?” he said. “There is lava.”

“But why is there lava?” asked Sally.

John leaned back in his seat and turned his eyes to the sky. “The police said a semi carrying lava for Vulcan Labs overturned.”

“Why would someone be shipping lava?” asked Sally.

Danny didn’t break eye contact with the driver but did answer Sally. “I think Vulcan Labs is owned by Hephaestus.” 

“Oh,” said Sally feeling foolish for not knowing. “Never mind then.”

Hephaestus, the Olympian smithing god, was used to working inside a volcano. Made sense he’d want some lava in order to feel at home.

Sally was about to ask another question, but the sounds of the crowd breaking into cheers interrupted her. Danny and Sally turned towards the sound. The Dogcar, a white and purple vehicle that looks like a dog in car form, rolled to a stop. The gull-wing doors opened; I stepped out. The crowd cheered with whoops and wows followed by chants of “Dogboy! Dogboy!”

I approached Sally and Danny. The claws on my feet, which stick out from my black boots, clicked on the bridge’s concreate.

“What kept you?” asked Sally.

“I had to stop Blackfeather from stealing mail,” I said.

“Why on Earth would he steal mail?” asked Sally.

“He didn’t want to pay for the Cheese of the Month Club.”

Danny chose a groan from his Omni-Cuff digital sound board. 

I walked over to the car’s bumper.

“What’s up, dawg?” said the driver.

I knelt to pick up the car.

“Remember to lift with your legs,” said Danny.

I grabbed the bumper and let the telekinetic energy flow into the car. Golden lightning traveled down my arms and into the vehicle. The lightning was barely visible as it surrounded the car. I lifted the vehicle. It wasn’t heavy, but it wasn’t light either. It was like lifting a bed mattress.

The phantasmic/psychic energy kept the car from falling apart under its own weight or from gravity.

I sat the car down. The cheering and applauding of the crowd drowned out the creaking and groaning of the car as the telekinetic energy faded from it and “normal” physics took hold.

“Thanks, Dogboy,” said the driver as medical workers assisted him.

“Yes, good job, Dogboy,” said Sally trying to stay professional but also wanting to cheer. “Now, what are you going to do about the lava?”

I glanced towards the edge of the bridge. “Does anyone have an ice pack?”

Copyright Joe Rover 2021. All rights reserved.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!


The latest DOGBOY CHRONICLES book “The Lost Files: Episode 1” releases April 27.

Check out my links page for where you can order a copy!

Superhero Yoga | Dogboy Chronicles Short Tail

The Clubhouse, the base of the International League of Super-Transbeings located on Freedom Isle…

A group of heroes milled around chatting. I stood between Glop and Turbo waiting for the class to begin.

Boo-whip!

The hologram of the instructor appeared before us. He wore a brightly colored unitard with a headband and leg warmers. His hair poked over the edges of the headband.

“Alright, heroes,” he said in a voice that should only be reserved for fitness instructors and car salespeople, “let’s begin today’s hero yoga poses. I hope everyone remembered to warm-up before class.”

I doubted anyone warmed-up; my suspicions were confirmed by the amount of muttering, whistling, and loss of eye contact.

“First,” said the instructor, “the landing pose.”

We all got low with one leg out and one fist on the ground. We held our other arm straight up.

“Now, the explosion power walk.”

We puffed out our chests, raised our heads, and walked in place slowly.

“Remember not to look back at the explosion,” said the fitness instructor. “Next, the up, up, and away.”

We held one arm skyward, bent the opposite leg up towards our chest, and rested the corresponding arm next to it with our fists clenched. We looked skyward.

“Excellent. The classic.”

We stood straight and put our hands on our hips.

“The team power pose.”

Glop and I flanked Turbo. He stood stiff with his arms stretched but slightly away form his legs. Glop and I stood with our backs to him; we raised one arm and one leg trying to make ourselves look like lightning bolts.

“The epic crossover team up,” said the instructor.

Everyone in the class stood in a circle back to back. We made various poses as the camera (aka the instructor) moved around us in a circle.

“Tighten up your stomach, Ripper,” said the instructor. The young hero sucked in his gut.

The hologram returned to his position at the front of the class. “The reveal.”

We pretended to rip open our shirts. We puffed out our chests and arched our backs.

“Powerful action pose.”

We threw a hook punch like we were hitting a villain’s face; but instead of relaxing, we held the pose.

“Heroes together.”

As one, we punched the sky with a heroic, “YEAH!”

“Victory pose,” said the instructor. 

We placed one hand on our hip then flexed the other arm and smiled for the camera.

“And finally, the Easter egg.”

We pretended to hold a car over our heads and smash the front bumper into a boulder.

The instructor clapped overly enthusiastically as the class relaxed. “Excellent work today, everyone! Don’t forget to practice your poses at home. We’ve got to stay fit for our battle against evil. See you all Thursday!”

The instructor hologram vanished with another boo-whip; the students immediately started chatting again.

Copyright Joe Rover 2021. All rights reserved.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!

The Adventures Continue in the Dogboy Universe!

Action, adventure, and sci-fi fantasy await within the pages of the Dogboy Chronicles.

Join Joe Rover and his friends as they protect their hometown from the forces of evil…and the forces of daily life.

Click below to find a store or follow me on Amazon for book updates.

Strange Dreams are Made of These

This is what happens when you mix reading The Last Smile in Sunder City by Luke Arnold, a Marvel movie, and an ear infection.

The following contains some spoilers for the book by Luke Arnold.

It was a very strange dream. I dreamt that I was part of the human army in Luke Arnold’s book, but we were all brainwashed and put into Ultron-Sentinel hybrid robot armor/bodies. Instead of fighting magical creatures like in the book, we had to fight superhumans like the X-Men, the Avengers, Batman, the Ninja Turtles, the Ghostbusters, and others.

At one point my Sentinel helmet was destroyed by one of the heroes which exposed my face. At this point, I started to wake from the brainwashing and realize how stupid it was for the “monster hunters” to make anything with pieces from Ultron; he could remain inside those pieces, which is what he did; and near the end of the dream, Ultron activated his plan and started to put the hybrid-human-controlled robots under his control. 

It was then that I thought, “Not another Ultron taking over the world plot. Groan,” and I woke up.

Until next wormhole…thanks for reading.


Please consider liking, sharing, and following! Thank you!

Shedding Problem | Dogboy Chronicles Short Tail

Dogboy Chronicles is now available in paperback through Amazon!


I sighed. The Doghouse couch creaked slightly from my shift in weight. “Too many adventures, not enough time. I have hero duties, schoolwork, chores, and I’d like to have something that resembles a social life.” I scratched Bandit behind the ears then sighed again.

“Hiya,” said a voice.

I jumped out of my seat. “Zak?! What are you doing here? Didn’t we like…merge into one person?”

The teen ran his fingers through his white hair. “Yeah. So, how can I say this delicately?…You’re shedding.”

“What?!”

“It’s all right,” said the two-years-younger-than-me-parallel-counterpart. “Dogs do it all the time. And you’re half dog.”

“But they don’t shed a whole other being,” I said trying not to speak too anxiously.

He tilted his head in a goofy way. “Are you sure? Have you ever cleaned up after a shedding dog?”

I glanced down at Bandit, who was still sitting on the couch. “You have a point. With all the fur I collected from Bandit just yesterday, I could build another dog.”

Hey! said Bandit telepathically. It’s a medical condition!

Zak held his hands straight out to me. “There you go! You wanted some help…here I am. The others and I can drop in and help you with missions, chores, and other things.” He pretend to nudge me with his elbow; he winked. “I’m sure there are other Shards that’d love to go on a date with Sally.”

I rubbed my chin in thought. “Hmm…”

Bandit rolled his eyes. Oh yeah, this’ll end well.

Copyright Joe Rover 2021. All rights reserved.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading! 

Rage-Appropriate Activities | A Short Tail

B&N/Nook readers

Use the coupon BNPSAINTPAT50 to save 50% at checkout from 03/15/2021 to 03/19/2021 on Dragon Reign


“Hello, I am Dr. Tony Slick. We all get depressed, frustrated, and lonely. The world is constantly trying to bring us down. Anger is a natural emotion. That is why I created Rage Against the Machine.

“Rage Against the Machine is a simulated landscape where you can do as you please. You can destroy anything with no lasting consequences. You can smash beds, wreck cars, or blow up mailboxes.

“The simulation also comes with robots equipped with holographic rendering. These robot doubles can look like anyone allowing you to fulfill your wildest dreams of mayhem against your boss, ex, or in-law.”

A large, spiked baseball bat appeared in Dr. Slick’s hand via a series of digital hexagons. “Remember, I’m not just the president…I’m also a client.”

He went on a rampage destroying everything in sight with his baseball bat.

As he slugged a mailbox, an announcer spoke. “Rage Against the Machine is not responsible for any action taken outside the simulation.”

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!

Copyright Joe Rover 2021. All rights reserved.

Don’t Look a Gift Child in the Mouth | A Short Tail

Everyday Gift Child is forging new ways for you, our most valued customers, to receive the child of your dreams. 

Founded in 1879, Gift Child has been at the forefront of child procurement.

No task has been too great for us.

Did your neighbor’s child catch your eye? No problem. We’ll bring them to you in a matter of days. 

Need to transport a child across the border? Not an issue for Gift Child. We have agents all over the world.

Is your new child unruly? Always complaining about wanting to return to their “real” family? We have many available brainwashing techniques.

***

A man steps forward as the presentation ends. He clears his throat. “That was the past,” he says. “This is the future.” 

Video plays of DNA strands. The man continues. “We can now provide you with the perfect child thanks to genetic modification. Gone are the days of child abductions, trafficking, and brainwashing.”

The man paces the stage as images of random happy, smiling children appear on the screen. “We can now create the child you’ve always dreamed of. He, she, it, or they can be created any way you want. Perfect hair, perfect health, perfect personality.”

The man stops. New images of happy families replace the previous images. “The sky is literally the limit. A child that is athletic, artistic, or even more animal than human is right around the corner. The happiness of the customer is all that matters.”

The screen and stage go dark. A new voice says, “Gift Child, a subsidiary of Dark Net Unlimited, we breed children so you don’t have to.”

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!

Copyright Joe Rover 2021. All rights reserved.


B&N/Nook readers

Use the coupon BNPSAINTPAT50 to save 50% at checkout from 03/15/2021 to 03/19/2021 on Dragon Reign

How Do I Develop a Character | Living the Write Life

How do I develop a character?

With a few simple questions you can make the process of character creation easier.

Take this image of a cat from Pixabay.

Black cat staring at camera.
“Meow?”
  • Is it male or female?
  • What’s its name?
  • What’s its goal?
  • Why does it have this goal?
  • What is stopping it from achieving its goal?
  • Does it have any quirks?
  • What do others say about it?
  • What does its best friend say about it?
  • What does its rival say about it?
  • What flaws and strengths does it have?
  • If put into a perilous situation, how would it react?
  • If put into a pleasant situation, how would it react?

The great thing is once you start answering these questions, more arrive. Pretty soon, you have a full character. 

This post is based on opinion and personal experience; it is not to be taken as professional advice.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!

Got any writing questions? Ask away in the comments! 


The Adventures Continue in the Dogboy Universe!

Action, adventure, and sci-fi fantasy await within the pages of the Dogboy Chronicles.

Join Joe Rover and his friends as they protect their hometown from the forces of evil…and the forces of daily life.

Click below to find a store or follow me on Amazon for book updates.

Milk | A Short Tail

Follow me at Amazon or Smashwords for updates on book releases


Milk. It’s been a loyal companion for centuries. We like how it makes us look. We like its mustache. We like asking if someone has any. We like how it helps us find those who are lost. 

But now, milk is in danger thanks to BLISS. Unlike BLISS, milk strengthens bones. Milk is healthy. Milk goes great on cereal. Milk has no side effects (unless you’re lactose intolerant). Milk is available at any store instead of some dirty back alley.

Next time you need a cool drink or help finding a lost child, think milk…the only true bliss.

Until next wormhole…thanks for reading!

Copyright 2021 Joe Rover. All rights reserved.

Building a Believable Fictional World | Living the Write Life

Please consider liking, sharing, and following! Thank you!


Building your fictional world can be daunting. You have to decide on rules–whether magic, science, or other. You got to decide on the look and feel: ancient or modern times, dark, comical, etc.

One thing that can help you on your journey is to look at objects, events, services, or traditions already in place in the real world and ask how it would work in your fictional world. This tip also works well for coming up with ideas for writing warm-ups/exercises.

For instance, lost and found services. Is there a high-tech drone that collects lost items? Is there an organization of wizards who donate their time to finding lost objects? Is there a grand conspiracy involving people who purposefully steal objects so that they become lost?

Another example: wall posters

Do people hang posters still? Have posters been invented? If not, do they have a poster prototype like an alter to worship a celebrity? Are the posters futuristic holograms? Are they somehow portals to other worlds?

It’s the small details, such as how the inhabitants deal with trash collection, that can make a world come to life and possibly create potential stories.

This post is based on opinion and personal experience; it is not to be taken as professional advice.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!

Got any writing questions? Ask away in the comments! 


Click to see how you can purchase books or help support me.