Nothing like breaking up an illegal animal fight to get your blood pumping.
Unfortunately, my blood wasn’t the only thing being pumped. The hosts of the title bout pumped the innocent turtle and rabbit full of phantasmic energy and transformed them into a middle-aged genetically modified hippie turtle and an electro-dance DJ named DJ Beat Hopper.
The turtle did not want to fight, preferring to make love and not war. The rabbit could not let a challenge go unanswered. Soon, a rap battle commenced.
DJ Beat Hopper laid down some sick rhymes (do people still say that). The turtle remained neutral…at least until Beat Hopper insulted its mother. Then, it was on.
And now these messages.
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And now back to the story.
Both took turns performing lines. The rabbit went full force with fast-paced beats and lyrics that made the audience rock out. The turtle played slower and smoother music that relaxed the audience and made them think about calling their mothers.
“Slow and mellow wins the rap battle,” hummed the turtle.
But, it looked like the rabbit’s pulse-pounding, head-banging licks were going to put the turtle in his place.
Unfortunately, for those who want to know who won, this is when the International League of Super-Transbeings, with support from PAWS, raided the fight.
The audience and hosts scattered. We got most of them, but I’m sure some escaped.
As for the now humanoid rabbit and turtle, they wrote a book about their life in the ring. They also collabed on a song that made it to the number one spot for three weeks straight.
Copyright Joe Rover 2021. All rights reserved.
So, who do you think should have won? The turtle or the rabbit? Let me know in the comments section.
Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!