How to Kill a Zombie with a Spoon

MarcusCVance ‬on Twitter started a thread about killing a zombie with a nearby weapon. ‪NoahElowyn ‬responded by saying cereal or soup. I made the joke about knowing 41 ways to kill a zombie with a spoon. NoahElowyn responded with a request to for me to list them all. I started by replying on Twitter but soon realized that would end in way too many Tweets and I didn’t want to spam anyone’s account. (sorry about the bad editing: I only had about 30 minutes to do this in)

Here you go:

  1. eye stab
  2. brain scoop
  3. forehead flick/tap/smash
  4. launch a rock between the eyes
  5. spoonful of poisoned brain
  6. hang spoon on nose make them laugh to death
  7. use spoon to play “Thriller” on your knees
  8. fake fetch throw into a pit (zombies aren’t smart)
  9. taser spoon (make sure you wear rubber gloves
  10. get them to stick spoon in light socket
  11. flick vulture chow on them
  12. hand spoon to zombie, tell werewolf that the zombie wanted to attack it with the silver spoon
  13. ice cream brain freeze
  14. use spoon to dig a hole (desperate times…)
  15. number 15 was redacted by the government
  16. pretend to be a doctor, tell them to open wide, shove spoon down throat
  17. saw (takes a lot of time)
  18. place spoons at top of stairs, let zombie trip on them
  19. spoon sword fight
  20. spy spoon that is really a laser
  21. have them collect limited edition spoons and hide the last so that their collection is never complete
  22. magnetized spoon in a room of sharp objects
  23. use the spoon force, luke (aka spoon bending)
  24. entertain them with spoon magic
  25. highly complicated deathtrap involving spoons, twine, and shaving cream
  26. make them listen to a 3 hr lecture on the history of spoons
  27. spoon machine gun
  28. fancy dinner party but the main course is another set of zombies
  29. tell them it’s a legendary weapon in an IRL zombie battle royale game
  30. get them to believe the spoon is a god that demands zombie sacrifice
  31. puppet show (you don’t wanna know)
  32. colonoscopy (you really don’t wanna know)
  33. drop the spoon, ask them to pick it up, when they look down attack
  34. really hot spoon
  35. confuse them with that spoon line from The Matrix
  36. start a line of designer spoon accessories and charge too much
  37. when there is a zombie group, point to one and say they’ve won the zombie Oscars and present them with the spoon, the other zombies will soon get jealous
  38. use spoon to drip acid on them
  39. use spoon to reflect a bright light at them and let them wander into traffic
  40. tell him the spoon is a symbol of their friendship then a month later betray him by making out with his girlfriend, he’ll die from a broken heart or kill himself with the spoon
  41. make them come up with a list of how to kill a zombie with spoons then follow it

Until the next wormhole…. thanks for reading.