I must be suffering from Quarantine Brain. I woke up in the middle of the night and thought, “I’ve figured out the secret of…Minecraft.” (What you thought I was going to tell you the secret of life?)

I realized that Minecraft is not real. I don’t mean not real as in it’s a video game. I mean, obviously it isn’t real. No, I mean that it is not a post-apocalyptic world. It is all in a person’s mind. Their imagination/creative space to be more exact. And to be even more exact, the mind of a young teen or older child. 

Think about it for a second. Cake replenishes your Hunger while carrots, melon, and apples only refill your Hunger a little. But, once you cover the apple or carrot in gold (*ahem* caramel), it becomes way more useful. In what world is cake and junk food better for you? A kid’s world.

Also, you can build and do just about anything in the world of Minecraft. Where else can you do just about anything? In your imagination–especially in the imagination of kids.

But, I’m thinking that the Minecraft world takes place in the mind of older children or young teens because of the ruins and the mobs. The ruins are the old playthings of youth. As we get older, we no longer want to be an explorer looking for treasure in jungles or under the sea. We are no longer interested in playing pirate and looking for buried treasure. We also start to realize that we’ve been placed in this lonely and wild world and we have to survive it.

In other words, the person is at that point where they are growing up but haven’t quite let go of fun and magic.

As for the mobs…

Zombies: These represent those who follow the trends. This is why they all wear the same clothes. They follow the latest trends (fashion or otherwise) and want to “convert” everyone else.

Creepers: Seems pretty self-explanatory. Camouflaged people who like to hang around your base and sneak up behind you then go “tsss.” You know…creepy people. Stalkers, perverts, people who just like to ruin your work by blowing up once you step outside. You know, jerks and creeps.

Endermen: The cool kids. They pretty much leave you alone unless you look at them. Some might chip away at your confidence by running off with blocks from your build (i.e. make fun of your skills, personality, or appearance). They also seem to have the cool clothes/skills (i.e. teleporting–or running really fast depending on which game theory you believe).

And then finally, you make it to the home of the cool kids (The End). You think it’s going to be this awesome place full of awesome things and people, but it really is just a wasteland with a bunch of people standing around. That’s when you learn that they are being enslaved by their own “coolness.” They have to obey the Rules of Cool or the Alpha Cool Kid (the Ender Dragon). It is then your realize the reason they stole your build’s blocks was not out of spite but because they want to craft and build like you.  You then realize they are not as scary as you thought; they’re like you.

Spiders: Fear. They’re scary at night; but during the daytime, they’re not so bad. Or maybe hormones; one minute you’re calm then someone attacks and you go crazy.

The Villagers: These guys and gals are adults. The villagers have, well, a village. They have “civilization.” They have jobs and trading/commerce. It is also nearly impossible to get them to do what you want. They are confusing and stubborn and you wish Mojang would just make it so you could use leads on them! Also, they go “meh, meh, meh,” at you all the time just like the adults in the Peanuts comic strip (LOL). 

Next, the Nether. It is pretty obvious that is supposed to be school. I mean, the Ghasts are wailing. The soul sand holds the tormented souls of students. If you say or do or wear the wrong thing the Pigmen (now the Piglins) will attack you in force; everyone will come after you and not leave you alone until they have pummeled you to death. But you have to go to school (the Nether) in order to mature (i.e. get potion ingredients so you can become faster or stronger or be able to craft an Eye of Ender).

Also, there are the beds. What happens when you try to sleep in the Nether? BOOM! The bed explodes. What happens if you try to sleep in school? BOOM! The teacher comes at you with a ruler.

The Nether could also be puberty. *Shivers* Puberty. What a horrifying word.

Now, one last word to sum up this theory. Have you noticed that the mobs only spawn at night or in dark places? And when do monsters come out to frighten kids? Night. How do kids protect themselves from the monsters? Nightlights. How do you stop the monsters from spawning in Minecraft? Torches or other light sources.

But hey, that’s just a theory…

Nope, no. I’m not going to do it. I’m not going to make fun of The Game Theorists’ catchphrase, but I will mention they have been working on a Minecraft Mega-Theory. And with that I finish by saying…

Happy April Fools! 

Now you get to decide if this post was an April Fools joke or not.

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This post might have been an April Fool’s gag but the Smashwords Authors Give Back sale (Mar. 20-Apr. 20) is not. The sale was created by Smashwords authors who wanted to help those who are feeling isolated or bored thanks to COVID-19 and social distancing. As part of this sale, two of my books are 60% off and you can pick them up at this link or you can check out the books by other authors here.