THE JOURNEY | Dogboy Chronicles Short Tail

Day 1

Alas, it is time to go. I must journey to a far-off place to learn at the feet of the master of viral and meme content. Hopefully, I will return with the knowledge to make my content more engaging. The trip will be harrowing and fraught with danger…but at least it has Wi-Fi.

Day 2

I’ve boarded the ship bound to Icon Island. The waves continually beat against the bow of our ship. The never-ending up and down of the ocean might stymie others, but my stomach is much more…

Excuse me a moment.

*sounds of vomiting*

Day 3

With the waves calming, I journeyed above deck with the other passengers. They gathered above to breathe in the sea air and enjoy the sunshine. The ship was crowded with beings of all shapes and sizes; and like me, these passengers were on their own adventure.

I don’t know what horrors await us.

“Last call for tonight’s bingo session!” shouted one of the cruise workers.

Day 4

Bingo was a bust. The little old lady from Pasadena won the pot. The lizard man from New York City seemed especially vexed.

Once again, the waves beat against our helpless ship.

KkkttTT!

“Ready the wave control torpedoes!” ordered the captain via the ship’s PA system.

Yes, it is dark times ahead. I see no hope insight.

“The captain,” announced a worker through the PA system, “would like to remind everyone that tonight’s all-you-can-eat buffet has been cancelled.”

I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.

Day 5

The torpedoes used to control the waves and calm the sea failed. Now, a storm threatens the ship. The waters have groan more intense. Everything that isn’t nailed down flops and slides out of control. The winds howl and lightning fills the sky with aerial fire.

Why is the floor wet?

Day 6

Somehow, we survived the storm and the trials of the sea. We finally reached Icon Island where the crew generously helped me disembark.

*BOOT!*

“And stay off, fleabag!” shouted the worker. “This is why we don’t allow Supers onboard! They’re a jinx!”

As I emptied my mouth of a mountain of sand, the cruise ship sped off as fast as it could.

I knew I shouldn’t have participated in this morning’s round of Mutant in Our Mist. Ricky Redd sussed me out immediately.

Day 7

I checked in at the resort.

“I have a ten o’clock appointment with the Viral Master.”

The clerk nodded. “He is expecting you.”

“I should hope so. I have an appointment.”

Day 8

I finally met with the Viral Master, a wise old man with white hair and beard. He dressed in blue jeans, a layered t-shirt, and sunglasses which hid his wrinkled eyes.

“In order to make viral posts and grow your online community, you must first hunt the animals of this land,” he said. “Return to me when you have three boar tusks, a chicken feather, and the wing of a bat.”

I groaned. “I hate fetch quests.”

“Why, young werewolf? You are so good at them.”

Days 9-11

I spent most of my time trying to track down and capture the boars, chicken, and bat. It was not easy among the mud and seemingly ever-present rain. And the place looked so much more pleasant when I first arrived.

Day 12

I returned to the Viral Master with the items and three layers of caked-on mud.

“Excellent work,” he said. “Although, I thought werewolves were better hunters.”

I growled. “Keep talking and you’ll be much more spiritual.” I sighed. “What was the purpose of this?”

“To become a viral hit, you must have the tenacity and ferocity of a boar, the power to overcome your fears, and the strength to fly though you’ll be called names by trolls and their kind.”

“And you couldn’t have just told me this?”

“It is better to learn things in your heart then to be told them. Plus, I needed you to do my shopping. Care for some bat-wing stew?”

“Eh, no thanks.”

“Then your training is complete. All the trials you have faced coming here have strengthened your resolve. You also have a story of you being a complete idiot. Ha! Coming all this way to train! What a silly idea!” The Master slapped me on the back. “Everyone loves a post where the person acts silly or stupid.”

I slapped my forehead. “So…how do I get back home? I got kicked off the ship.”

“That’s your problem, kiddo.”

Copyright Joe Rover 2021. All rights reserved.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!

Milk | A Short Tail


Milk. It’s been a loyal companion for centuries. We like how it makes us look. We like its mustache. We like asking if someone has any. We like how it helps us find those who are lost. 

But now, milk is in danger thanks to BLISS. Unlike BLISS, milk strengthens bones. Milk is healthy. Milk goes great on cereal. Milk has no side effects (unless you’re lactose intolerant). Milk is available at any store instead of some dirty back alley.

Next time you need a cool drink or help finding a lost child, think milk…the only true bliss.

Until next wormhole…thanks for reading!

Copyright 2021 Joe Rover. All rights reserved.

The Internet Fairy | A Short Tail

Is your Internet running on potatoes? Does it seem like a hamster could power it better?

Come down to the Internet Fairy. Our full staff of fairies are waiting to transform your pumpkin of an Internet into a carriage fit for a princess.

That’s the Internet Fairy located at the corner of Elm and Blockwood.

Please remember to bring the appropriate honey and crackers as payment for services.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.

Copyright 2021 Joe Rover. All rights reserved.


Dogboy Chronicles is now available in paperback through Amazon!

The Terror of Night Dad | Halloween Special

Vincent Tyler wanted nothing more than to be a father. Except he couldn’t have children. His grief, and possible madness, became so strong that one day he unlocked superpowers. He delve even further into madness by deciding to use those talents to protect the innocent. Vincent Tyler would remain a accountant during the day; but at night, he would transform into the terror of the underworld, Night Dad.

As Night Dad, Vincent possessed the power to persuade the guilty to do as he wanted by using his “dad voice.” He also knew how to embarrass a criminal and share this weakness with all present. His last talent is the ability to inflict pain through his cringey “dad jokes.”

Night Dad stalks the shadows in his white shirt and green sweater vest. So, be on the look out for his Number One Dad hat and listen for the soft whipping noise of his blue tie blowing in the wind. If he catches you…he’ll remove his belt and…

“WHACK!!”

The villains jerked back in fear and gasped in terror.

The storyteller’s eyes took in the sight of the gathered fearful fiends with morbid glee. General Destruction chuckled to himself.

Rat Fink nervously thumbed his fingers; sweat dripped down his long nose and into his whiskers. The whiskers bobbed up and down as the sweat fell off and down to the floor. “Has this guy never heard of adoption?”

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.

Copyright 2020 Joe Rover. All rights reserved.


The adventures continue in the Dogboy Universe

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