Before settling on “Live the Adventure” as Furryland’s motto/tagline, the employees went through many ideas. Some of the scrapped ideas include:
Milk. It’s been a loyal companion for centuries. We like how it makes us look. We like its mustache. We like asking if someone has any. We like how it helps us find those who are lost.
But now, milk is in danger thanks to BLISS. Unlike BLISS, milk strengthens bones. Milk is healthy. Milk goes great on cereal. Milk has no side effects (unless you’re lactose intolerant). Milk is available at any store instead of some dirty back alley.
Next time you need a cool drink or help finding a lost child, think milk…the only true bliss.
Until next wormhole…thanks for reading!
Copyright 2021 Joe Rover. All rights reserved.
The following was retrieved from archived news reports.
On Sept. 17 [REDACTED], shortly after the Dark Matter Victory (or DMV), Dr. Irma Kidding was the first scientist to successfully prove the existence of a soul.
Akin to studying black holes, Kidding studied the effects a soul had on the world around it. Her research was verified through many repeat experiments done by various scientists. Soon after, the soul became a scientific fact.
Three months later, her then assistant, Dr. Ivan Thunderclap, announced that the soul is the most powerful and abundant fuel source in existence.
Thunderclap later announced plans to create a machine that would harvest the afterlife for soul energy.
“We’ve been looking for alternative fuel sources for generations. Now we have a never-ending one…everything dies,” stated Thunderclap.
When asked about the harm or moral implications harvesting the afterlife could cause, Thunderclap reported, “What do I care? The living needs this [power] more than the spirits. They’re dead after all. The dead have been taking up space in Paradise for far too long. Finally, they can be a use to us.”
Sadly three days after his announcement, Thunderclap’s laboratory was reportedly struck by lightning. He and all his research were destroyed in the blaze. Miraculously, the neighboring offices were left unharmed.
After Thunderclap’s demise, the scientific community decided that further research into souls would be banned. When asked the reason behind such a decision Dr. Harry Ion, chairman for the International Association of Scientists, stated, “We’re scientists, not idiots. We can take a hint…eventually.”
Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!
Copyright 2020 Joe Rover. All rights reserved.
This post was a work of fiction.
You ready for more sci-fi stories? Hungry for some fantasy? Longing for adventure? Consider purchasing a Joe Rover book today!
The books are available at many online retailers; click below to find out where. Or, follow me on Amazon to receive updates of book releases.
Time to answer some questions that you probably didn’t even ask!
What’s with the costumes? Why do superheroes wear those skintight, often colorful, costumes?
Some might say that they are similar to costumes worn by circus performers. Hmm, maybe. But, the reason is because they are a physical representation of a person’s chi/aura (aka psychic fingerprint). Much like some tribes would paint/tattoo people with symbols that represented their ancestors or spirit guide. The costume is like a second skin allowing the hero closer access to the phantasmic energy that powers their talents. Much like removing your shoes on holy ground–it removes barriers between you and the divine. I’d rather wear a colorful uniform than have to run around naked.
Also, it allows for things like going invisible without having to de-robe. Or growing in size without ripping your clothes.
Psychic fingerprint?
Our bodies produce electrical currents through chemical reactions and molecule vibration; these currents are determined by genetic makeup, blood flow, personality, and more, so each person’s is different–like a fingerprint. The colors are dependent on characteristics and speed of energy flow. For instance, a cheerful person and a melancholy person could have the same base color, like red, but the cheerful person will have a brighter shade of red while the melancholy person’s will be a darker red.
Everything (not just transbeings or living beings) has a psychic fingerprint/chi because everything is made of vibrating molecules. The symbol/emblem on a hero’s chest is a representation of their “true name.” Everyone and everything has a similar symbol, you just can’t see it because they don’t go around wearing it. Now don’t go thinking that because you know their true name you can control them–like in some fantasy stories. It just allows you to communicate with the person/thing. Much like in physical life. It’s part of why using a hero’s name while crying for help…uh, helps them hear you; just as saying someone’s name in normal life gets the attention of the person you are speaking too. But it is a deeper connection, kind of like telepathy.
That is how things like telekinesis works. You aren’t commanding the mountain to move; you are asking the mountain to move and it responds because it trusts you. People with plant manipulation talents aren’t forcing the flower to bloom but rather encouraging it to bloom. Just as you can ask someone to help you with the dishes, but you can’t force them to do the dishes. They chose to help you because they care about you or scared of the consequences. Here is the difference between light and dark talents/”magic.” Are you asking the water to hold you up so you can walk on it or are you forcing it into compliance?
Why do some heroes wear capes, some don’t, and some wear jackets/longer garments?
Some transbeings (villains wear capes too) are so strong that their phantasmic energy…”leaks.” Their power is so great that it comes out their backs or stretches along their sides like a jacket or robe. This is why angels are usually depicted with wings. They don’t actually have wings but their phantasmic power is so great that the energy leaks out their backs and looks like wings. So, when it comes time for the costume (which is a representation of a person’s chi) to be made…we get capes, jackets, or fancy robes.
Why do transbeings sometimes call out their attacks?
Part of it goes back to the “asking the mountain to move” that I mentioned earlier. You are asking the air to heat up or the lightning to strike. The other part is focus and strength. When you need to lift something heavy, you use more muscles, but how to you use more muscles when something is metaphysical? Answer: emotions. Emotions are mental/spiritual muscles. So, you can add more omph to your talent by calling it out. It is the same reason why martial artists will grunt when they strike or block; they are adding more power behind their act. *Most of the time transbeings can just think their attack or wave a hand because what they are doing is within their limits.*
What’s with wearing your underwear on the outside?
First, it’s not underwear; it’s armor. It used to be just part of the tights in order to show appearance/color variation, but now it’s armor. Second, um, I’ll just leave it at “sports cup” and you can figure it out. I mean, we are in battle with villains.
Any other questions? Ask them in the comments below.
Until next wormhole…thanks for reading!
A couple days ago, Buddy (aka Copycat) told me how he ran into some trouble when he was out for a flight over the city. He was enjoying the feel of the air and listening to the soft wiping of his black cape as it moved through the air. For a few moments he could forget all his troubles.
And then something speed by him nearly knocking into him. He hit a pocket of turbulence as he tried to right himself. Finally, he regained his footing as it were.
“Sky hog!” he shouted at the offender.
The offender slowed and faced Copycat. It was a pig with wings. Copycat gasped in surprise before it snorted a piggy grunt and flew off towards the skyscrapers.
Once Buddy finished his tale, I rested my hand on his shoulder in a show of support. “Yeah…Those atmos pigs think they’re so grand just because they’ve got an adynaton. But, it’s Heck’s Oinkers you’ve really got to watch out for.”
Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!
Copyright 2020 Joe Rover. All rights reserved.
Good news! The Smashwords Authors Give Back Sale has been extended to May 31!
You have another chance to buy The Beast of Camp TimberWolf, Gift of the Minion, and now Who Pranked JR for 60% off!
days
hours minutes seconds
until
Who Pranked JR Launches
The villainous Glue laughed wildly within his hidden lair. “Ah-hahahah!! That fool Dogboy has taken the bait!” Glue twisted and squeezed his hands in excitement. “Soon he’ll be in my clutches. Now, what deathtrap should I use?”
Glue gazed over his wide collection of deadly machines. There was the giant mousetrap. There was the classic tank of sharks. “Maybe the Spinning Blades of Doom!” said Glue.
Bzzzzt!…Bzzztt!
“Oh, now what?” huffed the villain.
Glue stormed through his lair as the doorbell continued to buzz. Glue grumbled, “I’m coming. I’m coming.” He passed by gold statues of himself and walked under the 15 foot portraits of himself. He kidnapped the famous artist, Art with Sam, in order to commission them.
Glue flung the door open. “WHAT?!”
“Good evening, malicious sir,” said the man wearing a tweed overcoat and brimmed hat, which he tipped in greeting. “My name is Salesman. I am a lair-to-lair salesperson for the Omega Institute. Would you be interested in–”
“NO!”
SLAM!!
Glue followed his door slam with a door lock. He grumbled some more then turned. “GAH!” he yelped with a jump that made it look like he’d just seen a spider in his shower.
Salesman tipped his hat again.
“How’d you get in?” asked Glue.
The man held up a small black circle. “With the handy-dandy Portable Hole. You just stick this little beaut on any surface and voilà instant hole.” The man sat down his sale’s bag. With a click of the lock, he opened it and began riffling through it. “I’ve got boxing gloves on springs, acid spraying squirt flowers, gasses of all varieties; and of course, the ever popular freeze ray,” the man said, pulling the items out one by one.
Glue folded his arms. “Not interested.”
Salesman would not be deterred–his commission rested on getting a sale. “For the more modernist villain: I have swords that can slice an atom. I have bombs with misleading timers. I’ve got drones, spy cameras, and backdoor codes to various government databases.”
Glue let out an annoyed and warning sigh. Salesman either ignored him or didn’t hear him. Instead, he put a hand on Glue’s shoulder. “But, I can tell you are a…” He surveyed Glue’s black and orange containment suit. He could hear the sloshing of glue within. Without the suit, Glue would be a large glob of dried glue. “…uh, man of tradition. I’ve got cartoon bombs and sticks of dynamite…two for one.”
Glue groaned.
“How about some exploding pies?”
“What flavor?”
“Coconut creme.”
“Ew-yuck! I hate coconut creme. How about an ejector trap made to look like floor tiles?”
Salesman lifted his hat enough to scratch his head. He glanced down at his sale’s bag. “Gee, I don’t think so.”
Glue grunted a quick, dry laugh. “I do.” He tapped a button on his wrist computer panel.
SPOING!!
The spring loaded ejection title under Salesman launched him into the air and out through the hole in the roof–Glue had opened the roof; he didn’t want to clean up the mess.
“You’ll regret thiiiiiisss…” said the trailing voice of Salesman.
Glue closed the roof hatch then clasped his hands together. “Now…where was I?”
If you’d like more adventures starring Dogboy, check out the Joe Rover eBooks–available at many online retailers.
Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading!
Copyright © 2019 Joe Rover
Dogboy and related characters Copyright © 2016-Present by Joe Rover
All rights reserved. No part of this post may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without prior written permission of the author/publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews or as a repost/share with link to the original post.
All characters, organizations, and locations in this post have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation to anyone bearing the same name or names. Any resemblance to individuals known or unknown to the author are purely coincidental.
All rights reserved.
Superman: Dawnbreaker by Matt de la Peña–Chapters 8-12. I’ll try to keep spoilers to a minimum.
I’ve really been enjoying how Peña balances the action with slower moments. For instance, there is the part where Clark stops some thieves then he has a brief emotional moment with his father then he’s relaxing at a party with friends. There are very few, if any, boring moments. The moments that would normally be boring are also interesting because you see more of the mystery or more of Clark’s character.
Speaking of mystery, I enjoy how the investigation part of the mystery feels like a real investigation story. For a moment, it seemed almost like I had stopped reading a fantasy/superhero story and started reading a mystery/crime novel.
I did have to sigh and roll my eyes when Clark’s super-hearing gave out just as someone was going to say something important. But, I did like how it showed that he didn’t have full control over his powers and that they could give out on him–it added some suspense.
It was also nice to see the plot of the missing people start to take the spotlight. So far, it has just been hinted at or treated as a B Plot. I like how there seems to be a connection between someone buying up farmland and the missing persons, but it still makes you wonder if they really aren’t connected–maybe there are two villains in town.
So, what do you think? Why do you think people are missing? Why does it seem to be only immigrants? Is it all connected to Clark and that he’s an alien or is that just to throw us off and the real reason is a twist? My working theory is that someone knows an alien landed in Smallville so they are rounding up any strangers to try and find the alien. Tell me your theories in the comments.
Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.
Consider following and turning on notifications so you know when the next update is available.
Kkktt!!
This is Captain Stone of the International League of Super-Transbeings. The date is May 16, 2003. We have just received the following message.
Series of text messages sent from Unknown on July 10, 2019
Unknown: It’s all a lie.
Unknown: Ten years ago extraterrestrial life invaded Earth. That part is true.
Unknown: It is also true that the battle was over in three days.
Unknown: But it wasn’t the aliens that were victorious. Earth won that day.
Unknown: The governments saw this as an opportunity. War, famine, crime, violence, hate, climate change, and terrorism were all on the rise.
Unknown: They saw a chance to change all that. The drones, the ships–those are controlled by the Earth Unity Federation pilots. The few aliens we see on patrol are really Earth Unity Federation military units.
Unknown: The EUF scavenged the technology left by the aliens. They pretended to be the aliens. They created the peace treaty in order to set up new restrictions and have the aliens as the scapegoats.
Unknown: The aliens haven’t been on the Earth since July 6, 2009. It’s all been a ruse to keep us in check.
…
…
Addendum: It is now July 10, 2009. The alien invaders did arrive as predicted by the message. We, however, were able to intercept them before reaching Earth.
The Citizens remain unaware of any supernatural presence.
Kkkktt!!
Thanks for reading! Joe Rover eBooks are available at many online retailers.
Copyright © 2019 Joe Rover
International League of Super-Transbeings, Dogboy, and related characters Copyright © 2016-Present by Joe Rover
All rights reserved. No part of this post may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without prior written permission of the author/publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews or as a repost/share with link to the original post.
All characters, organizations, and locations in this post have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation to anyone bearing the same name or names. Any resemblance to individuals known or unknown to the author are purely coincidental.
All rights reserved.
Joe Rover 