It just wouldn’t be Halloween without a “The Raven” by Edgar Allan Poe inspired/parodied poem.
Once upon a midday bleak and boring,
While I exercised, only thoughts in that hour,
There came a knocking at my spaceship door.
“How is that possible?” I wondered.
“Was an asteroid and nothing more.”
Oh, asteroid, I cursed my wandering.
Sweet, forgiving Luna, my dear.
Who during EVA was impaled by space debris.
My loneliness wrapped around memories of bright Luna.
Still, I hear her voiceless scream
Through that endless midnight doom.
Again, again came the knocking on my spaceship door.
In a beep, the sensors say life is by the ship’s sterile hide.
“Luna? Could it be?
Could Providence have saved my love?”
In a rush, the airlock I fling.
Alarms wail but my Luna waits!
But nothing save a slime flies in.
It comes to rest upon kitchen floor.
Quote the slime, “Give me air!”
A slime with voice?
A pack I provide.
Breath after breath, the green slime takes
All while watching me.
“How is this? Who are you?” I say.
The slime stares then pass a beat,
Quote the slime,
“I saw it all.”
“All?” I ask.
“The fight with Luna,
Vicious and with bite.”
“Nonsense!” quote I. “Leave now, vile slime!
Dear Luna had no spite!”
The slime replied with red gelatin shiver.
“What evil do you speak?” I yell.
No reply ‘cept puffs of air.
“My Luna is innocent. Sweet as a babe.
No evil in her might.”
“Not her, but you,” spoke the dying slime.
“Angered by her night with Steve.
The line snapped by your very hand.”
No, no. A rock. A rock did in my love!
Not the bitter affair with wife and friend!
Where was Steve at the end?
I gripped the slime,
But laugh it did, as it dripped away.
The slime, red stain and broken pack,
Left me alone on kitchen floor…
Until the next wormhole…Happy Halloween!!