The Hottest Toy of Christmas | Writing Warm-Up (ft. A FNAF Fanfiction)

The following is a Five Nights at Freddy’s fanfiction. I do not own any rights to the characters. Please consider supporting Scott Cawthon and the games. The jingle tune is similar to one used by MatPat in his FNAF videos.


It’s fun; it’s wow; it’ll haunt your dreams. It’s Nightmare Freddy.

Yes, Nightmare Freddy, the toy on every Crying Child’s Christmas list. Whether they’ve been bitten by a rouge animatronic or have had their soul scooped out so a combination of robots can wear their body like a meat suit, your child will absolutely love this new toy from Fazbear Entertainment. 

Nightmare Freddy comes with everything a parent could want in a child’s toy: sharp claws, jaw bite strength equal to a bear trap, and lots of pieces that’ll fall off causing various choking hazards.

Nightmare Freddy also comes with a nighttime feature where he’ll roam the halls stalking your child.

That’s Nightmare Freddy from the same people who brought you the family-friendly Sexy Chica doll.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.


Smashwords End of Year Sale Dec. 18-Jan. 1

The Secret Meaning Of (Cliffhanger)

I must be suffering from Quarantine Brain. I woke up in the middle of the night and thought, “I’ve figured out the secret of…Minecraft.” (What you thought I was going to tell you the secret of life?)

I realized that Minecraft is not real. I don’t mean not real as in it’s a video game. I mean, obviously it isn’t real. No, I mean that it is not a post-apocalyptic world. It is all in a person’s mind. Their imagination/creative space to be more exact. And to be even more exact, the mind of a young teen or older child. 

Think about it for a second. Cake replenishes your Hunger while carrots, melon, and apples only refill your Hunger a little. But, once you cover the apple or carrot in gold (*ahem* caramel), it becomes way more useful. In what world is cake and junk food better for you? A kid’s world.

Also, you can build and do just about anything in the world of Minecraft. Where else can you do just about anything? In your imagination–especially in the imagination of kids.

But, I’m thinking that the Minecraft world takes place in the mind of older children or young teens because of the ruins and the mobs. The ruins are the old playthings of youth. As we get older, we no longer want to be an explorer looking for treasure in jungles or under the sea. We are no longer interested in playing pirate and looking for buried treasure. We also start to realize that we’ve been placed in this lonely and wild world and we have to survive it.

In other words, the person is at that point where they are growing up but haven’t quite let go of fun and magic.

As for the mobs…

Zombies: These represent those who follow the trends. This is why they all wear the same clothes. They follow the latest trends (fashion or otherwise) and want to “convert” everyone else.

Creepers: Seems pretty self-explanatory. Camouflaged people who like to hang around your base and sneak up behind you then go “tsss.” You know…creepy people. Stalkers, perverts, people who just like to ruin your work by blowing up once you step outside. You know, jerks and creeps.

Endermen: The cool kids. They pretty much leave you alone unless you look at them. Some might chip away at your confidence by running off with blocks from your build (i.e. make fun of your skills, personality, or appearance). They also seem to have the cool clothes/skills (i.e. teleporting–or running really fast depending on which game theory you believe).

And then finally, you make it to the home of the cool kids (The End). You think it’s going to be this awesome place full of awesome things and people, but it really is just a wasteland with a bunch of people standing around. That’s when you learn that they are being enslaved by their own “coolness.” They have to obey the Rules of Cool or the Alpha Cool Kid (the Ender Dragon). It is then your realize the reason they stole your build’s blocks was not out of spite but because they want to craft and build like you.  You then realize they are not as scary as you thought; they’re like you.

Spiders: Fear. They’re scary at night; but during the daytime, they’re not so bad. Or maybe hormones; one minute you’re calm then someone attacks and you go crazy.

The Villagers: These guys and gals are adults. The villagers have, well, a village. They have “civilization.” They have jobs and trading/commerce. It is also nearly impossible to get them to do what you want. They are confusing and stubborn and you wish Mojang would just make it so you could use leads on them! Also, they go “meh, meh, meh,” at you all the time just like the adults in the Peanuts comic strip (LOL). 

Next, the Nether. It is pretty obvious that is supposed to be school. I mean, the Ghasts are wailing. The soul sand holds the tormented souls of students. If you say or do or wear the wrong thing the Pigmen (now the Piglins) will attack you in force; everyone will come after you and not leave you alone until they have pummeled you to death. But you have to go to school (the Nether) in order to mature (i.e. get potion ingredients so you can become faster or stronger or be able to craft an Eye of Ender).

Also, there are the beds. What happens when you try to sleep in the Nether? BOOM! The bed explodes. What happens if you try to sleep in school? BOOM! The teacher comes at you with a ruler.

The Nether could also be puberty. *Shivers* Puberty. What a horrifying word.

Now, one last word to sum up this theory. Have you noticed that the mobs only spawn at night or in dark places? And when do monsters come out to frighten kids? Night. How do kids protect themselves from the monsters? Nightlights. How do you stop the monsters from spawning in Minecraft? Torches or other light sources.

But hey, that’s just a theory…

Nope, no. I’m not going to do it. I’m not going to make fun of The Game Theorists’ catchphrase, but I will mention they have been working on a Minecraft Mega-Theory. And with that I finish by saying…

Happy April Fools! 

Now you get to decide if this post was an April Fools joke or not.


This post might have been an April Fool’s gag but the Smashwords Authors Give Back sale (Mar. 20-Apr. 20) is not. The sale was created by Smashwords authors who wanted to help those who are feeling isolated or bored thanks to COVID-19 and social distancing. As part of this sale, two of my books are 60% off and you can pick them up at this link or you can check out the books by other authors here.

You in Fortnite | Theories

After watching a video by TheLlamaSir on YouTube about the new season of Fortnite dealing with parallel universes, I started forming my own theories about what could happen. (Probably a lot of wishful thinking on my part.)

In the video it mentions how you can see the vault IRL by using Google Earth. It also mentions the time that Epic Games took objects out of the game and into the real world. So, my idea isn’t that far fetched.

My idea is that Epic Games will make it so the player can be added into Fortnite

We’ve seen them do something similar with the TikTok emote contest. The winners of the contest got their dance/emote added to the game. Epic Games has also added real life people like Marshmello and Ninja. 

TheLlamaSir

I could see them adding a character creator. I would imagine they would charge to use it or have the basic character forms for free then charge for clothes, pickaxes, and so on. I’d love it if you could select your character’s hair, skin, clothes, and so on.

Another possible, though less likely, theory/idea is that Epic Games promotes some new character skins by having people show up as the characters IRL. Who wouldn’t want to see a real life Fortnite battle? And who wouldn’t want to see an IRL Peely?

What are your theories about the Chapter 2 Season 2? Let’s talk in the comments.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.


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The Theory of Dreadbear | FNAF VR DLC (Spoilers)

Contains spoilers. Read at your own risk.

Tis the season to theorize.

Too early for a cringey Christmas joke?

Over Halloween Scott Cawthon, creator of the Five Nights at Freddy’s games, decided to further torment the horror game community by releasing a DLC for the Help Wanted VR game called “The Curse of Dreadbear.” *Video gameplay of the DLC can be found on the GTLive YouTube channel.*

The DLC starts out by saying how it is just a fun add-on and has no hidden intent. Yeah, sure. Pfft, right.

The main screen for the DLC looks like a Halloween themed rural festival: barn, corn maze, lots of pumpkins. You then spot that this festival takes place in 1983, the year of the bite (or was it ’87–frankly the lore of FNAF is murky at best and downright confusing other times). Later on, the host of the video, MatPat, points out that the house on the hill is similar to the one in FNAF 4. If I remember correctly, and I think MatPat even mentions, FNAF 4 also has connections to the bite of ’83.

Eventually, the player gets to a mini-game where they have to find keys in a maze in order to unlock the cellar. Once the cellar opens, you are taken to a cellar version of the prize room. The prize room is an area where you can collect your prize for winning each mini-game. The cellar prize room is, well, creepy…ax, spooky candles, and all.

This time instead of some candy or a stuffed animal, you win a creepy bunny mask similar to good ol’ Springtrap. Springtrap is the suit series villain and child murderer William Afton wears. In the VR game it is hinted that Gltichtrap is based on Springtrap and contains a fragment of Afton. The spooks continue when you wear the mask and hold the Glitchtrap plushie while at the Help Wanted main room (not the DLC area).

While others talk about the theory that the player is possessed by Glitchtrap or discuss how Gltichtrap is corrupting the minds of all the players in order to raise a cult (which you can find via a video by SuperHorrorBro), I’m going to be talking about the DLC title. Though I totally hope the FNAF movie features this idea of a Glitchtrap cult; it’d be so creepy to see a whole bunch of people surrounding the hero while wearing that mask. *Shivers*

I found it interesting that the DLC mentions a curse. A curse seems like typical Halloween fun, just like the DLC, but a curse can be passed down. The game has been hinting that Afton, via Glitchtrap, is passing down his murderous ways to a new generation of killers. Also, the DLC places you in 1983, the time of the bite. The bite is what set off everything in the series. Sure, Afton was murdering kids before this but it was after the bite that he started looking into the soul juice that makes the animatronics move on their own. The bite also causes the closure of at least one Freddy’s restaurant. Afton begins experimenting with the soul remnants and the spooky stuff begins. The curse is born.

Also, when does a curse usually activate? When someone goes messing around with forbidden items, such as collecting glitch tapes in the main FNAF game. The curse of Afton is passed on to the player when they gather all the tapes.

I also find the names of the new characters to be interesting. For example, Glitchtrap. It seems like a nice mash-up of Springtrap and “glitch.” That is what it is in the game: a glitch of Springtrap. But, it is also a glitch that traps you. Once you get all the tapes, you are trapped in the game. You become a trapped follower of Glitchtrap.

So, I wondered about Dreadbear. Dread is a great fear of something or a feeling of anxiety to something. It was a Freddy animatronic that did the ’83 bite and started the curse. Freddy is the “leader.” He is something to dread. But, I also started thinking about the bullies who tossed the kid to Freddy in the first place. How would you feel if you were a young kid and the person you picked on was killed because of something you did? Possibly haunted by the event? You’d be full of dread. Maybe there’ll be a game similar to FNAF 4 where it is one of the bullies facing their guilt in the form of Dreadbear.

Finally, I find the use of masks throughout the Halloween game interesting. There is also a mention of a mask in the main game. Masks are symbolic of hiding your true self. The Glitchtrap corrupted wear masks. On the outside, they look human but inside they are murderers. They might not be wearing actual masks, but the spirit/remnant is wearing the person like a mask. Also in one of the tapes, it is hinted that Jeremy sliced off his face and it looked like a mask. I wonder if Jeremy tried to cut off his face in an attempt to rid himself of the Glitchtrap corruption; he wanted to “remove the mask.” Lastly, the bullies wore masks. All the mask references in the DLC could further point towards one (or more) of the bullies coming across Dreadbear in a later game.

Do you have any Five Nights at Freddy’s theories? Let me know in the comments below.

Until the next wormhole…thanks for reading.


Join in the adventure as Joe and company deal with everything from waking up in the morning to stopping an alien invasion in the Christmas themed eBook Gift of the Minion. Releases Dec. 3. Preorder for $0.99, regular price $2.99.

Plot Hole Fix

At first when I watched the Game Theorists video on why electric/lightning Pokèmon aren’t that great, I was like, “Oh interesting.” Also, finally someone explained volts, amps, and ohms in a way that wasn’t completely confusing. But then as expected, at two in the morning my brain was like, “Oh my gosh! Air resistance!!”

In the video, it explains how air has a high ohm factor, which means that it is a very good insulator against electricity. Like they said in the video, “It’s why we don’t get electrocuted every time the wind blows.” There needs to be a lot a build up before a lightning strike. This mattered to me because I could use it in my science fiction books.

My main character has the power of telekinesis. From this I get people saying, “Why does he need to get in close to fight his opponent? Why not just toss him from afar or drop a car on him?” I explained part of this as a battle of wills. A person generally does not like to be thrown against a wall, so the foe’s will is fighting against the protagonist’s will to throw him, which drains the hero of energy. But now, I can add in air resistance/insulation. The further away the protagonist is from the opponent, the more resistance there is for his “psychic” energy. So to conserve his energy, he needs to fight hand-to-hand.

Now, I can respond with something other than, “it’s fiction; give it a rest.”

And they say you can’t learn anything from video games.

Do you have a strange story of inspiration? Let me know in the comments below.

Until next wormhole…thanks for reading.


Join in the adventure as Joe and company deal with everything from waking up in the morning to stopping an alien invasion in the Christmas themed eBook Gift of the Minion. Releases Dec. 3. Preorder for $0.99, regular price $2.99.

Poké-man Theory | Ponder This

It seems like everyone and their Growlithe has a theory as to why Ash doesn’t age. I’ve heard everything from “Ash is in a coma” to “Team Rocket is in purgatory” to “Ash’s age is equal to his level.” So with the release of Detective Pickachu, I’m going to wander through the tall grass and catch myself a theory.

Wild Theory Appears

The reason Ash doesn’t age is similar to the theory that in the Pokèmon universe age is the same a level. The theory states that Ash is not 10 years old–in the way we think of age; he is level 10. So going from this theory (plus the one saying that humans are Pokèmon), the reason why Ash doesn’t age is because he hasn’t leveled up enough to evolve. We’ve seen how Pokèmon will evolve from babies to children to adults–with some having a middle/teenage evolution.

For example, Charmander could be the childhood version of Charizard with Charmeleon as the teenage version. (I guess some Pokèmon are lucky enough to not have to go through those awkward teenage years.)

So Ash looks ten because he’s in his childhood evolution. He could really be 18 in our years but only look ten. Pikachu has been with him for years and he (or is Pikachu a she) hasn’t “aged” either.

This theory makes sense because…let’s face it, Ash isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Maybe one day he’ll level up enough to evolve. I could just see that moment.

ASH has reached level 13. What’s this?! ASH is EVOLVING? *Pokèmon evolution music plays*

ASH has EVOLVED into TEENAGE ASH!

ASH has learned ANGST!

Wouldn’t that be cool if humans were like Pokèmon? If someone bullies us at school we could just go into a Pokèmon battle.

Enemy GARY uses PEER PRESSURE! It’s SUPER EFFECTIVE!

ASH uses YO MAMA JOKE!

Enemy GARY has fainted.

I could just see the equivalent of the evolution stones (like the moon stone or grass stone).

MOM uses COLLEGE DEGREE on ASH! ASH EVOVES into MIDDLE-AGE ASH!

Now, you’re probably thinking, “But then we’d all go around saying only our names,” but we’ve seen that Pokèmon understand each other. So…maybe we aren’t really speaking English or Spanish. Maybe to an outside species, like a dog or cat, we are just standing around saying our names in various ways. Maybe if aliens visited we’d just be standing around going, “Bob. Bob. Bobby. Rob.” “Sam. Sam-mantha. Sam Andrews.” (or just “Human. Hu. Human.”) To us dogs just go “bark” with different variations.

Kind of blows your mind, doesn’t it.

Hmm…maybe all we need to do to use THUNDERBOLT is to shout out our name. “P-eee-ttt-er Wil-BROOK!!!” Then again, who knows what Pikachu is shouting when he says, “Pi-ka-CHUUU!!” It could be “Thunderbolt!” or “I like chili dogs!”

What four Pokèmon powers/moves would you like? (Because they can remember four moves.)

Now I’m off to ponder why Ash talks about Pikachu being his best friend yet he hasn’t given him a nickname. Hmm, maybe Pikachu doesn’t want one. What would Pikachu’s name be? Ryan? Deadpool? (I smell a Detective Pickachu meme brewing.)


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Bendy and the Dark Theory

After watching Treesicle talk about their theories regarding the new Bendy game–Bendy and the Dark Revival–(see Bendy and the Dark Revival: New Game BREAK DOWN (BATDR/BATIM) for more), I thought I would throw my hat into the theory ring.

OFF SCREEN: [Cars crashing] [People screaming]

MAN (OS): MY LEG!

OS: [Cat screeching]

BRAIN: They did not mean to literally throw your hat into a ring. Next time, try aiming.

Ooh.

In the video the Treesicle team, mostly Grant–since he was on camera, talked about if the new game would be a prequel or a sequel. They mentioned how the word “revival” makes it sound like a sequel but the trailer shows the ink machine being lowered into the studio…so it could be a prequel.

The video continues on until a blurry picture of a new character is seen. Grant, after some investigation, says that it looks like the character is wielding a banjo. He also states that the character looks dog-like. Finally, he says how the character Boris is a cartoon dog-person. During one scene from the Bendy and the Ink Machine game, a banjo is seen with Boris. Grant states that maybe the new character could have some connection to Boris, like being a love interest. Or, it could be an imperfect Boris clone.

My theory is that it is Boris, but not an imperfect Boris. I’m thinking it could be the original Boris. If you know anything about animation and character development, you know that a character goes through many revisions before the final publication. Even after the character is published, the animators will tweak it. Look at Micky Mouse; he has a ton of different variations. He’s been altered many times over the years to fit in with new technologies or styles.

So, the plot could be someone is “reviving” the old original versions of the characters. Also, in storytelling, the original characters are usually seen to be more powerful or deadly than the “published” versions. Oooh! Henry and Bendy could team up to defeat OG Bendy! (Probably not going to happen but it’d be cool.)

My other theory involves the ink machine being lowered into the studio and the word “revival.” Maybe someone is doing a remake/reboot. Someone has bought the rights to Bendy and is bringing the cartoon crew back. The “new” character might be an updated/remake version of Boris.

This plot could also fit into the themes from the last game (ie doing whatever it takes to be successful, even if it endangers your friends and employees). The new game could relate to people doing remakes of old shows. AH! The evil Bendy creatures are the rabid fans who say that the remake isn’t as good as the original! Hee, hee.

According to a The Game Theorists’ Bendy video, one of the creators stated that Dark Revival is not a prequel or a sequel, so…it could be a remake (or reboot). I wouldn’t put it passed the creators to have a “remake” game of a game they made. Whew, that’s a whole new level of confusion.

But who knows. At least it makes for good discussion fodder.

PS: I love how the abbreviation for Bendy and the Dark Revival is BATDR. It looks like it is Bat-Dr. It sounds more like someone Batman would go see when he’s ill than a title for an indie horror game.


Sparks of Rebellion has been released!

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Holy Disney Takeover, Batman!

I’d just finished watching the IGN video going over some of the new franchises owned by Disney now that they have bought part of Fox. Among listing things like Predator, Aliens, Die Hard, and Avatar (not the Airbender), they said Disney owns the rights to the 1960s Batman with Adam West. I thought, “Now if they could only somehow add Mickey into the show then we could connect the Disney Universe with the DC Universe as a shared universe which would also connect the Marvel Universe because DC has crossed-over with Marvel many times.” But, I then thought of a more feasible approach: Aliens.

Batman and even Superman have fought the alien xenomorphs, so it is possible to link the universes that way. All Disney would need to do is have a xenomorph invasion of some of their new properties. And who wouldn’t want to see John McClane battle a xenomorph or have one chest-burst out of Mickey Mouse. Disney wouldn’t even have to do that big of an invasion. They now own The Simpsons and they’ve had crossovers with X-Files, South Park, Family Guy, and even Rick and Morty–according to a video done by the Nerdist.

The Nerdist video goes on to talk about how many cartoons are all connected, even connecting BoJack Horseman to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which the TMNT also connects to Batman via the Batman/TMNT comics. The TMNT also connects to DC through the Injustice 2 game (which also connects it to Hellboy and Mortal Kombat). TMNT also connects to the Power Rangers; the Power Rangers also connects to DC via a JLA/Power Rangers comic. There have also been many Looney Tunes and DC stories as well. Looney Tunes can be connected to the show Tiny Toon Adventures which had appearances by many real-life actors and other Warner Brother properties.

Mortal Kombat also has a connection to Jason Voorhees from Mortal Kombat X, which also connects him to Jason Vs. Freddy, and thus to Freddy Kruger.

Speaking of a real-life connection, videos by The Game Theorists connected many video games to real-life through Mike Tyson and some through Tony Hawk. This got me thinking about further “real world” connections. I thought, “How could you show a connection between a show–or game–and the real world?” One way is the real-life celebrities. So this would connect Scooby-Doo to the real world because he’s met many real-life people, such as the WWE, but he also has connections to Archie and Batman (man, Batman gets around).

Another way to connect the real world is using the same technique that scientists use to find dark matter: look for what isn’t there. This one is a bit of stretch because it basically asks for some faith. I started thinking about the show Captain N, where a teen from the real world is transported into the Nintendo game world. I started thinking, “How would you know for sure this never happened?”

Look at Toy Story, it is supposed to take place in the real world. How do we know that toys don’t come to life when we aren’t around? So, in theory we could add any show or game that takes place in a real world where the general public is unaware of the events of the plot. For example, the Harry Potter series, the general public doesn’t know that magic exists. Who’s to say that there isn’t a Hogwarts? It’s kind of like the discussion about alien life; there’s no proof that they exist but there is no proof they don’t. So as long as Harry Potter doesn’t get on the six o’clock news and say, “I’m a wizard,” it could share a universe with us. For clarity, Cloverfield wouldn’t count because everyone knew about the monster attack; and as far as I know, a monster did not attack New York in our world.

Another way to connect the real world to other worlds is when the characters travel to parallel worlds and they call our world “Earth Prime,” “Keystone Earth,” or “Land Without Magic.” So this could add things like Stephen King’s Dark Tower series.

We could also potentially connect every LEGO game and movie because of The LEGO Movie. The movie connects the LEGO world to the real world when Emmett goes through the portal. The LEGO Dimensions game then connects The LEGO Movie to the other LEGO worlds. Since The LEGO Movie even mentions other toy sets and LEGO Dimensions also mentions other dimensions, we can add connections to all the LEGO toys, like Minecraft (at least the LEGO version). Also, Into the Spider-Verse and TMNT have also said, “every version of Spider-Man and the Turtles are part of a multiverse” LEGO TMNT and LEGO Spider-Man connect to the Marvel Universe and TMNT Universe. LEGO Michelangelo is in The LEGO Movie.

But all of that is just faith and theory…on to the facts and back to my main point. Another Game Theorists’ video connects the Kingdom Heart games to Doom which also connects to Fortnite and many other games, including ones discussed in their videos about a Ubisoft Universe and the Mike Tyson connection. So, the Disney Universe has many connections to video game universes as well as real-life.

The videos also connect Spider-Man to Star Wars and the Star Wars universe is all one universe. This would bring in any (non-fan made) Star Wars book, comic, and show. Spider-Man then connects us back to the DC Universe.

My main point is that if Disney connected their new properties (and it wouldn’t take much since many of the Fox shows they acquired were already connected through shows like The Simpsons) via xenomorphs, they would have connections through many show universes–thanks to Batman and Scooby-Doo–as well as many game universes. Almost every fictional universe could connect back to Disney. There would be one massive shared universe, including our own, with “one mouse to rule them all.” Disney would be the center of the fictional universe AND the real universe! BWA-HAHAHAHA!!!

Well, except for Five Nights At Freddy’s, like the Game Theorists, I couldn’t connect it either. Unless you want to count the Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles episode “War and Pizza.” Donatello upgrades the pizzeria’s mascot, an animatronic bear (cough, cough), and it comes to life and attacks everyone. But…I doubt it because he used science and not the souls of murdered kids. Wait a minute…Donatello wears a purple bandana. Oh my gosh! Donatello is the Purple Guy!!! Hee, hee…LOL.

It’s not like the Turtles have a connection to anything else in the game, for example the infamous Bite of ’87. Wait, didn’t the original animated series came out in 1987?


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Recommended: Post 6

The Bucket List by ravenbrxwn (ongoing story): Hailey has terminal cancer. Her friends decide to help her cross off everything on her bucket list.

Game Theory: Gamers Will NEVER Solve This Mystery! (Accounting Plus Zoo Level) (YouTube): The Game Theorists look into the mysterious Zoo Level for the Accounting Plus game.

The Song of Sqia’lon Seven by wdhenning (short story): The narrator recounts the tale of a disease that robs people of their souls and how he was cured.

Joe Rover eBooks are available at Barnes & Noble, Apple Books, and many other online retailers.